Hmm...
I feel the need to reflect on this past year. To compare myself to who I was when the year started to who I am now. But....
I'm not sure that I've changed that much. I mean when this year started, I was anorexic. And I'm ending the year as an emo cutter. And I've been through a lot this year. It was really hard. I got better from anorexia but then my brother decided he needed attention and went on a rampage and landed his happy butt in day treatment. And then when he came back he wasn't in school because the dumb asses at the one he was at didn't understand that he was special needs and had a condition. Then summer rolled around. .....This was the hardest summer of my life. I was all alone, and my parents found out my sexual differences and rejected me for them. And my best friend abandon me in my time of need. I contemplated suicide for quite a few days, but each time I talked myself out of it, thinking about everyone who might have missed me. And I cut. And..... It was just a hard suckish year. About the only good thing that's happened is writer's group.
But yet.... I still have hope. Hope that maybe this new year will be different. That I'll actually be happy, and that I can find friendship again, and not be miserable all the time like I am now. But part of me thinks its futile, and that I'll always be stuck here and be miserable. But I'm seventeen, and my parents can't keep me here forever. They won't keep me here forever.....
-Katie
I feel the need to reflect on this past year. To compare myself to who I was when the year started to who I am now. But....
I'm not sure that I've changed that much. I mean when this year started, I was anorexic. And I'm ending the year as an emo cutter. And I've been through a lot this year. It was really hard. I got better from anorexia but then my brother decided he needed attention and went on a rampage and landed his happy butt in day treatment. And then when he came back he wasn't in school because the dumb asses at the one he was at didn't understand that he was special needs and had a condition. Then summer rolled around. .....This was the hardest summer of my life. I was all alone, and my parents found out my sexual differences and rejected me for them. And my best friend abandon me in my time of need. I contemplated suicide for quite a few days, but each time I talked myself out of it, thinking about everyone who might have missed me. And I cut. And..... It was just a hard suckish year. About the only good thing that's happened is writer's group.
But yet.... I still have hope. Hope that maybe this new year will be different. That I'll actually be happy, and that I can find friendship again, and not be miserable all the time like I am now. But part of me thinks its futile, and that I'll always be stuck here and be miserable. But I'm seventeen, and my parents can't keep me here forever. They won't keep me here forever.....
-Katie
