Ughhhhhhhhh.
Okay, so I.... hate band geeks. I mean one broke my mom's heart, and one broke mine. Not to say they're ALL heart breakers, but.... Okay, let's go back about two years. FLASHBACK!!!!!! O,o
Okay so I was fourteen, and the guy was eighteen. It was his last summer at choir and then he was going off to college. I had let myself fall madly in love with him, and I think that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. But at that time, I didn't care. I was too happy spending my last few Sundays with him. But then Vacation bible school 2010 happened. It was the best week of my life. Why? Our breaks were scheduled at the same time. It was... Amazing. And the best part, I didn't get to just stare; he talked. TO ME. :O
That had NEVER happened before! I was estatic. He noticed me! Thursday was the best day, because we actually HAD a conversation. But then... the week ended. And I came down with strep throat from one of the kids I was looking after. But I STILL went to choir that Sunday to see if he remembered me. He did. And my voice had it's revenge. :(
But then he disappeared. Well, not really, he just didn't show up for two weeks. And at this point I was fed up. But then I walked in and he was there. And he remembered my name!! I had made a promise to myself at the beginning of the summer that I would tell him how I felt before he left. And that night... I did. It took a lot of stuttering, but I did. And he told me no. WHY didn't I have the sense to leave then? Oh right, I am a complete moron when it comes to guys.
After that, things went downhill REALLY fast. After he left in August, he came back, and he had a girl with him. I still to this DAY hate her guts. I fell into a deep depression and actually had to switch choirs. And the anorexia and cutting thing in the winter had a lot of reasons, but... I think he and that dog were two of them.
And I... kind of have a sixth sense in a way. Every time I dream about him, he shows up at church the following Sunday. And I dreamed about him last night, and he was kind of a jerk in the dream, but he did talk to me, so.... Idk what to do!!!!!!!! I hope he doesn't show up at work. If he does, I think I am going to puke. And be tempted to punch him. :( I hope that guy reads this and knows how bad he hurt me. I don't care what he said, he had no right to flaunt that B**** at choir and then stare at me. He is a waste of space and I hate his guts. I'm sorry, I'm just.... really really mad at them both still. And things happened on Monday that are really shaking me up and causing me to have to make some really hard decisions.
Blog over.
-Katy the blogmaster
Okay, so I.... hate band geeks. I mean one broke my mom's heart, and one broke mine. Not to say they're ALL heart breakers, but.... Okay, let's go back about two years. FLASHBACK!!!!!! O,o
Okay so I was fourteen, and the guy was eighteen. It was his last summer at choir and then he was going off to college. I had let myself fall madly in love with him, and I think that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. But at that time, I didn't care. I was too happy spending my last few Sundays with him. But then Vacation bible school 2010 happened. It was the best week of my life. Why? Our breaks were scheduled at the same time. It was... Amazing. And the best part, I didn't get to just stare; he talked. TO ME. :O
That had NEVER happened before! I was estatic. He noticed me! Thursday was the best day, because we actually HAD a conversation. But then... the week ended. And I came down with strep throat from one of the kids I was looking after. But I STILL went to choir that Sunday to see if he remembered me. He did. And my voice had it's revenge. :(
But then he disappeared. Well, not really, he just didn't show up for two weeks. And at this point I was fed up. But then I walked in and he was there. And he remembered my name!! I had made a promise to myself at the beginning of the summer that I would tell him how I felt before he left. And that night... I did. It took a lot of stuttering, but I did. And he told me no. WHY didn't I have the sense to leave then? Oh right, I am a complete moron when it comes to guys.
After that, things went downhill REALLY fast. After he left in August, he came back, and he had a girl with him. I still to this DAY hate her guts. I fell into a deep depression and actually had to switch choirs. And the anorexia and cutting thing in the winter had a lot of reasons, but... I think he and that dog were two of them.
And I... kind of have a sixth sense in a way. Every time I dream about him, he shows up at church the following Sunday. And I dreamed about him last night, and he was kind of a jerk in the dream, but he did talk to me, so.... Idk what to do!!!!!!!! I hope he doesn't show up at work. If he does, I think I am going to puke. And be tempted to punch him. :( I hope that guy reads this and knows how bad he hurt me. I don't care what he said, he had no right to flaunt that B**** at choir and then stare at me. He is a waste of space and I hate his guts. I'm sorry, I'm just.... really really mad at them both still. And things happened on Monday that are really shaking me up and causing me to have to make some really hard decisions.
Blog over.
-Katy the blogmaster
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