I DROVE A CAR AND HAVE MAC AND CHEESE! :D

I DROVE A CAR I DROVE A CAR!!!!!!! :D

Wait I probably should not be putting this on the internet..... OH WELL! :D

So Sunday my mom and I were driving around so I could check up on job applications (IT WAS NOT A FUN EXPERIENCE BECAUSE THREE OUT OF FOUR DID NOT END WELL -.-) And then I went to work to check my hours for the week (WHICH IS FRUSTRATING AS HELL ANYMORE BECAUSE I ONLY WORK ONE FUCKING DAY A WEEK -.-) and get MAC AND CHEESE (I FORKING LOVE MAC AND CHEESE!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D :P :) And then, on our way home, MY MOM TOOK ME TO THE PARKING LOT!!!!!!!

And she taught me how to break, and SHE EVEN LET ME PUT MY FOOT ON THE GAS!!!!!! :D But I almost threw her head through dash. :/ oh well who cares?! :D

AND I STILL HAS DA FEELS. D: Oh well. hey, I HAVE A NEW PROJECT THAT I NEED TO SHARE BUT I'LL PUT IT IN A DIFFERENT BLOG OKAY???

-Katie

The random Rusher-focused blog! :D

Patiently waiting for another amazing BTR Ustream. :)

Internally: HURRY THE FUCK UP AS PATIENT AS I AM I WANT MY BOYS OMG WHAT IF I MISSED IT GAH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hehehe, sorry about that. Internal panic attacks ARE my specialty. So anyways.......................................................................................I HAVE NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT!!!! D: THIS IS VERY BAD!!!!!!!! Oh wait...

I REACHED OVER 1500 VIEWS YESTERDAY AND WE BROKE THE RECORD OF PAGEVIEWS MY BLOG HAS EVER GOTTEN IN ONE DAY BY GETTING 41 PAGEVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

And because of this, I VOW TO EAT MACARONI AND CHEESE FOR DINNER TONIGHT AND NOT FREAK OUT. Virtually signed, Katie

So yep, that's about it. BACK TO STALKING TWITTER AND THE USTREAM PAGE- I mean thinking about Kittens and doing my schoolwork. xD Yeah right.

-Katie

PS: Here is a link to the Ustream page! STARTS VERY SOON SO CLICK NOW AND WAIT: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/jojowrighttv

I hate my dad.

I'm sorry but I do.

It's like he doesn't even care anymore. I liked it better when he worked, because at least then he was happy to be home, and he understood things more. Now? Now all he does is yell at everyone for everything. And what's worse is that he refuses to try and accept me, and my problems, and is stuck in his 1975 psychology. This IS the 21st century father!

Sigh. Everyone else seems to get it. Maybe it's just the stubborn Italian in him. Or maybe he hates me....

Ugh. My cuts hurt and itch all at the same time!!!! >:( I did this to myself though..... Sigh.

This is a depressing post and I declare it over.
-Katie

Questions, answers, and yes, TRIGGER WARNING.

This is last time.

I swear to God it will be the last time I will tell you relapse. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of hiding, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of hurting like this. I hate it. I WANT to be happy again. I want to feel good. I want to smile. I want..... I just want to be ME AGAIN.

I hurt. I hurt every time someone screams. I hurt when my dad yells. I hurt when everyone is fighting. I hate. I hate this feeling, this never ending feeling of emptiness and loniless. I hate that I always want to leave. Leave and never come back here. But yet for some reason I stay. Why do I stay? .............I don't know.

I'm sorry. I don't know who reads this, but if you do, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I let you down. I'm sorry to my friend Sophie that I broke my promise to not cut. I'm sorry that I failed you. But I promise you.

I promise you that this will be the last time I let you down. I promise I WILL get better, and I WILL be happy again. I promise you that I'll post more (Or at least try), and that this year.... It will be a journey we take together.

And I hope that if you're reading this.... that I made you feel less alone.

-Katie

The blog that has no point. :D

UGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

The dumb thing won't let me change my font! :( Wait, what was I gonna blog about again? .............................................................................................I got nothing. :P YAY IT LET ME CHANGE THE FONT!!!!!! :D

And that is about what most of my thoughts look like. xD Anyways, today is my mom's birthday. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA I LUVS YOU!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D She's gonna kill me for that later, but it's okay. :D

IN OTHER NEWS: FRIENDS IS ON SO THEREFORE I HAVE TO GO WATCH IT SO BAI GUISE I PROMISE A BETTER BLOG TOMORROW!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

-Katie

My bizarre fangirl life! :D

I LOVE FANGIRLING.

Although there was a lot of drama this weekend... FLASHBACK!!!! O.o

So as we were driving around on Saturday dropping off/picking up job applications.... wait, I NEVER TOLD YALL!!!! :O I'm trying to find a new job, because I NEED MORE HOURS THAN I HAVE. Apparently the restaurant business is brutal after Christmas. Go figure.

ANYWAYS, We were driving to drop off my first job application and somehow a new Big Time Rush song got leaked on Tumblr, and I clicked on the link on my phone, and I heard, what I will forever call, THE KOGAN SONG. And I am probably going to have an army of people mad at me for sharing this, but here is a link to a video of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eyzQ4tE1h8

So yeah, EVERYONE was freaking out about it on twitter, and somewhere in the madness, Logan tweeted that he was mad. And then EVERYTHING went from fangirling to an inner fandom war. Everyone was hating on everyone, mostly because the song had gotten spread around so quickly. It was a stupid fight in my mind. I didn't spread it (until now...), I was still trying to drop off my applications, pick up more, AND find out my hours for the week. Which really didn't help my mood.

Speaking of which, I ABSOLUTELY HATE EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY BODY. I am so fucking disgusting. I'm fat. I have stretch marks. I have acne. I'm gonna have scars. My hair is a disaster. I'm so disgusting.

Sigh. Let's just fangirl about the song, okay?

-Katie

I'm making fun of the computer

AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY BROTHER WILL NOT STOP WITH THE ONE DIRECTION SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY??? WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY ARE WE CURSED WITH ONE DIRECTION IN THIS HOUSE??????? 

I mean I'm slightly more tolerant of Justin Bieber. SLIGHTLY. As in, I don't instantly unfollow someone who tweets about him on twitter. BUT ONE DIRECTION IS HORRID AND SO ARE THEIR FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE FAILED AS A SISTER BECAUSE MY BROTHER LIKES THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND HE LISTENS TO CRAPPY POP MUSIC!!!!!!!!! WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I'm not a happy camper right now. -__________________- I still hate myself, and I'm a loser and a horrible person. I ATE THE DAMN CAKE!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I do it? I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh. Oh great! Now we're being forced to listen to call me maybe! -.- Why me? Whatever. 

SOMEONE MAKE IT ALL STOP MY EARS ARE BLEEDING FROM ALL THIS HORRIBLE MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Katie