BACK AGAIN!!!!

I haven't posted in forever!!!

Two reasons for that. One, I haven't had anything to post about (Big shock -.- ) and two, the computer at my house is broken!!! D: So I am currently at the library, next to a really loud person, and about to work on my fanfic, but decided to post real quick.

So.... OH! I quit my job. :/ Still not sure how I feel about that, and then I've decided to half-way drop out of Girl Scouts and become an independent scout until I earn my gold. After that, I'm dropping out completely. :/ Just seems like everything falls apart anymore...

Until next time,
-Katie

Hm, maybe Valentines day isn't so bad...

I normally wouldn't say that, but....



........AUGH!!!!!!!! Okay I'll put that photo in when I'm done writing. So... Random strangers giving me flowers and REESES. :D:D:D:D Reeses are my weakness. Question is.... who knew Reeses were my weakness? ;) I'm cool not knowing.

IN OTHER NEWS: I am apparently a goddess with the espresso machine. :D I make good hot chocolate, and I like to get fancy with the whipped cream and toppings. I'm glad we still have those red sprinkles around...

But life isn't always fun and games. SOMETIMES we have to put up with our little brothers who have strep throat yet STILL NEVER SHUT UP. -________- Can I just slap him?

-.- Such is the nature of the beast I guess. I'm hungry.... and I can't have meat.... Such is the life of a practicing Catholic.

Well, maybe the good outweighs the bad here? :/

-Katie

ANTI-VALENTINES DAY BLOG

Okay, as you guessed, I HATE Valentines day.
It used to be a holy day for Saint Valentine. But now it is a stupid holiday that only those in love can celebrate and those of us who are single have to endure the misery of being outcasts and alone. IT PISSES ME OFF A GREAT DEAL.

For just ONCE I'd like for someone to be my valentine. Just ONCE! But no, I'm the emo freak who no one can love. :'( WHY AM I SO UNLOVABLE!?!?!?!?!?! At least I can maybe drown my sorrows in Chinese food and anti-romance movies. Although now that I think about it The Hunger Games and Breaking Dawn kinda revolve around romance... BUT THERE IS VIOLENCE IN THOSE MOVIES TO COMPENSATE FOR IT. Ugh.

I really sound messed up, huh? And the worst part is that I have to go to work tonight, and thanks to the fact that the only place that would hire me was a restaurant I have to put up with couples coming to our restaurant to eat. -.- But then again maybe I'll get lucky and no couples will come in. Idk. At least Carlos and James (Big Time Rush) Have girlfriends.... And then I ship Kogan (Kendall and Logan), so I think that might be real and if it is.... xD But then again..... idk!

I JUST HATE BEING SINGLE OKAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

-Katie

Looking back...

So, y'all remember my dark days?

Well, if you don't, GOOD. I NEVER want to go back there EVER again. I remember it vividly. Not the before part so much, but once my friend abandon me.... I remember it all. Why the sudden flashback?

Because..... I was talking (Well, Direct messaging) with someone last night on twitter, and I told her my story. The story of how Big Time Rush saved me. Tell me it's crazy if you want, but you weren't there. YOU didn't feel the pain, and the misery. And you didn't have the internal fight every single day about wether or not to end it. I'm GLAD I talked myself out of it every single time. If I didn't do that, and I didn't have the song, "You're not alone," I'm not sure I would have had the strength to keep going.

But what made me the happiest last night was the fact that the person I was talking with said she was so happy that I called the suicide hotline. :) I'm glad I did too. and I ENCOURAGE you to do so if you ever feel like there isn't a reason to go on, or if you WANT to do it. The number is 1-800-273-8255. It's free, confidental, and it HELPS.

It makes me happy that I can say that it DOES get better, and that I have the power to help others with my story. :') It feels good to make a difference.

And that is all I have to say. It's starting again, so I gotta go.

Stay strong! I believe in you! :*
-Katie

A message to Taylor Swift haters.

Okay, y'all know how I feel about the drama-queen directioners.

Not ALL of them are bitches. In fact, one of my best friends is a diectioner. But honestly, ever since Haylor, they have just gotten out of control. I did a quick search of her name on twitter last night, and I only got like two or three tweets in and had to stop.

The amout of bitches hating on her was sickening. And it's starting to get to her. I read something a while back that said she's starting to take it out on herself with restrictive dieting. I honestly can say that restrictive dieting/eating will not do shit. I am seriously worried about her. Taylor Swift isn't just a singer, she is a PERSON. She has FEELINGS. And did anyone ever stop to think that maybe songwriting is just her way of working through things?

I remember after I had.... a break-up of sorts, I wrote like, five different stories. And after my suicidal days, I wrote poetry non-stop. Words help people work through stuff, and she just happens to make money off her feelings. And you have no right to judge Taylor Swift. She is an inspiration to me, and she has really helped me become a better person. My life motto? Live fearlessly. And not in the normal sense, in the Taylor Swift sense. She taught me to speak NOW.

So THINK. THINK before you post some mindless hate comment. THINK before you make some dumb photo saying how much of a bitch she is. SHE CAN READ IT AND SHE DOES SEE IT.

Sorry to rant, but it's just been EATING ME ALIVE for a while now. Maybe it's my own personal issues making me so upset about it, but I just can't stand the thought of her hurting herself because of a bumch of dumb-ass drama queens. I AM NOT SAYING ALL DIRECTIONERS ARE EVIL. Just the ones who do the kind of pointless hating.

I mean she was bullied in school, now she's bullied for living her dream. Why is that suddenly acceptable? I could go on, but I'm sure you're done reading/caring, so I'll stop now.

-Katie

I can relate to a vampire better than humans. O_o

Yeahhh......

So if y'all watch Syfy, then you know about being human (And if you don't you probably live under a rock or are just not paying attention..). And that is like MY FREAKIN GUILTY PLEASURE OKAY????? 

So anyways, I was watching it with my mom tonight (We record every episode because we normally can't watch it when my brothers are awake), and OH MY GOD I CAN RELATE TO HENRY AND AIDAN SO FREAKIN MUCH!!!!!!!!!! :O

Like, (SPOILER ALERT) they were sitting on the side of the road and Henry was dying of the flu, and he was all like, "Everyone who loves you, dies." And then he walks off. And I was just like. "OH MAI GAWD HOW CAN A COUPLE OF VAMPIRES SUM UP MY LIFE LIKE WAT ASDFGHJKLKLSDHJKDF!!!!!!"

.........................Well, that was awkward. :P Seriously though! Like, I feel like every time I love someone or even trust them, they go away or hurt me. And half the time it's my fault. Like, I start half the drama in my life and ruin every good thing I have!!! :'( OH WAIT!!!!!!!!

WE REACHED OVER 1,600 VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Oh my God I am on an emotional rampage type thing. D: Okay, so expect amazingness in the next few days, provided I haven't fucked anything else up.

-Katie

PS: My bird has decided he wants to flirt with me. I can attract a bird, but not a human boy. WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

-________________-

Today is just not my day.

You ever just feel like a horrible friend, and you probably didn't do anything? And then on top of it, you feel like no one cares about you? And the only that keeps you from going completely over the edge is your favorite music?

Yeah, that's me. I hate it.

-Katie

NEW LOOK SAME WEIRDO. :D

Okay so I just did a much-needed makeover! :D

As you can probably see, I have a lovely new background of bubbles! YAAAY FOR BUBBLES! xD I've also changed some of the fonts, and various colors. I've ALSO added some cool new gadgets. You can now easily share this to any social media site (I think...). AND I moved popular posts up to the top so you can see which posts are really getting looked at! :D AND I STILL HAVE THE FOLLOW BY EMAIL THING UP. USE IT. NOW. And the comments are still available too. *Hint hint* I'm working on adding my twitter on here too, so expect that some day.

I hope this makes things a little easier, or if nothing else gets some more views. :P I love when I get views. OH! And we're almost to 1,600 views! :D Im'ma post stuff once we get there, K? 

AND I WILL FOLLOW THROUGH ON IT THIS TIME!!!!! :D

-Katie

I'M AN ALL-STAR! :D Oh wait...

GARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything I could tell you is protected/unpostable!!!!!!!!!!! D: WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL?????????????????????? OH WAIT! :D

I'm coming to love Michael Jackson. :O I know, I wasn't expecting it either. I was watching the Thriller video a few weeks back to try and help me write a story about a haunted house, and I kinda got hooked from there. My current song is Billie Jean. :P I clearly have a lot to learn/listen to.

AND NOW I AM OUT OF THINGS TO POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dkfljgklfdsaerwjyewklfdsz Sorry, when I don't know what to say, my fangirl side says that. :P Oh well.....

At least I have put SOMETHING on the internet today....

-Katie

She worries.

So wrote this yesterday, and I cannot think of a better time to publish this. -.- It's called "She Worries," and I was told this was one of the best things I've ever written, so I would really really love you if you commented or shared thoughts! :)

-Katie



She worries.

She worries about the little one, the big one, the old one, everyone.

She worries.

She worries for his safety, her health, his anger, his temper.

She worries.

She worries about the bills, the bellies, the lack of money.

She worries.

She worries about the roof over their heads, and worries if it will stay.

She worries.

She worries about the scars that mark her body, she worries what others think, she worries when she speaks for fear of a slip, or hurting someone even more.

She never tells, even when it eats her alive.

She worries.

She worries about others finding out, she worries that a day will come when her family is torn apart.

She hides the tears, she hides it all, because in the end, she trusts almost no one at all.

She worries.

But in the midst of her anxiety, she makes herself dreams, and hopes for things.

And when she sees him, he makes the worries go away, at least for a little while.

He takes the worries away. He makes her believe that maybe there is a bright side in everything.