Why a three day weekend is awesome

Yeahh..... I kind of needed this.

So once upon a time before everything went down (Like back at the end of June), we had a mannequin dressing contest at work in exchange for a full, three-day weekend. I came in third. :D

And this was my weekend off. And let me tell you, I NEEDED IT. My gut has been so messed up lately, and after all the shit that went down this past week, I kind of needed to examine all of the evidence/factors/whatever. And plus my feet just really hurt.

So I pretty much sat on my butt and wrote or read fanfiction or just reveled in the fact that I didn't have to be anywhere. I didn't have to DO anything. And that my feet didn't hurt. :D I just needed some time to clear my head. And it was nice! :)

But now comes the Monday/back to reality-ness of it all. D: And I have to get up early too. Like six AM early. =_= And that means doing my make up in the car. ...Eh, who cares? I get an hour break which means lunch with my mom. :D

So yeah. Just felt like we needed some positivity around here. I know it really hasn't been like that lately and I apologize. I just.... had to figure out what was best for me again. And y'all know I think best when I'm writing to you. :) Should pick up a lot more around here.

So that's all I got! Love y'all!

Sincerely,
-Katie

Dealing with the aftermath

Okay.... I am so.... I don't know that there is a word for this feeling.

It's.... it's a mixture of helplessness, fear, and pure ANGER. Okay, so let's go back to Thursday, shall we?

I was at the mall an hour early dropping off applications (I'm looking to leave my current job). So my hour is up and I have to be at work at five, so I go up to work. I go, I put my stuff up (Quietly), and sneak back out to the front. I get told "Don't go back to the back." At this point I am pretty sure our DM is there (She'd been there a lot that week- a bad sign in itself).

So then we're going up front to get the rundown of the plan for the night is (I cannot use the term we use for fear of revealing too much or revealing company secrets), and suddenly.... our store manager AND our district manager appear. And the last words from our Store manager? "Katie it has been a pleasure working with you." I could see it in her face she was trying so hard to keep it together and remain professional. I didn't buy it for a second.

I hugged her as tight as I could. And as I watched her go, I have NEVER felt so helpless and pissed off.

Actually, yeah, I have. When I lost Cassidy. This WHOLE THING is reminding me of when I lost Cassidy. Only this time.... I don't feel like I have no reason to keep going: I have no reason to STAY where I'm at now.

I.... let's be honest, y'all are aware of the work mom thing: Supervisor who cares about my well-being as well as my performance. I just.... I just LOST HER. This feels like it was just a mad display of power. Like, "I can fire you so I will." I feel like this is all part of some nefarious plot that I can't see yet, and I DON'T WANT CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE.

And so I had an interview yesterday, and even the loss of hours and pay (I would be starting at minimum wage again) sounds GOOD. It sounds like a fresh start. Scheduling wouldn't be much different than it is at where I am now. And I wouldn't be dealing with this fear and DRAMA.

And who's to say I'm not next? I'm having trouble meeting my goals. Obviously time with a company means NOTHING anymore. And I'm NOT going to have my record tarnished like that. I'M 19 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Maybe I'm being overly dramatic but ya know what? I hate this feeling. I hate the deja vu of Cassidy (Who has been on my mind so much lately, BTW), and I hate the fear. And the kicker? I have to WORK with the bitch on Monday. -______- Seriously, I'm just done with this whole situation.

So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take out my problems and feelings on my fanfic. Sorry things have been so negative around here lately, but.... Well, I'm going shopping today. So maybe some retail therapy will help. idk.

Sincerely,
-Katie

My overdue return rant (About work!)

So I am about 3000% done with like, my whole job.

In fact, if I were to get fired for this, I am not entirely sure I would care. But I have been very careful (I think) and I don't think I have ever once said my company name. I think. Hmm... Well fuck it I don't really have the decency to care anymore.

When you only give me thirteen hours (I REPEAT THIRTEEN FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!), I kind of lose all my patience with your bullshit. I mean when I have closer to twenty-four to twenty-five hours, I am far less likely to be in a pissy mood. but THIRTEEN HOURS?!?!?!?!?!? And I can't figure out what the fuck I am doing WRONG!!!

And then on top of that, there's the fact that I've been there longer than ANY of the other girls, yet I'm getting the short end of the stick. They get more hours, longer shifts, and yet they can't do NEAR as good of a job as I can. And I am the only one who also seems to be capable of picking up the mess too!

And then OH MY FUCKING GOD when I am actually there! If it's not one thing that's backed up it's another. Shipment, go-backs, cleaning, daily goals. And we can't ever leave until all the shit is done, which means I don't get home until 11 at night, my legs feeling like they would like to fall off of my body, and my mom pissed because either she A: Had to wait for me because I said ten thirty, or B: Is mad because my dad had to wait an insubordinate amount of time and thus ruin whatever plans she had.

And I can't figure out ANY GOOD that's coming from this!!! I mean if I could see some turnaround, I would extremely less pissed. But all I can see is us falling farther behind, not meeting the unrealistic expectations our new district manager is setting, and myself falling into a vicious cycle I fought really hard to get away from almost four years ago. I'm no longer hopeless and a victim. I am standing on my own two feet (However delicately), and I am PISSED. I don't see the point in all this senseless annoyance. Maybe it's cuz I'm not high enough up in the chain of command.

Which brings me to my final point of annoyance, and is ultimately prompting me to try and find something else: I was there long before the girl who got promoted came along. I TRAINED her. And she got the promotion, not me.

I realize I am being a little petty here, but at this point, It's all just been festering and boiling. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go take my problems out my characters and eat grapes angrily. And wish my headache would go away. So... yeah. Bye.

Sincerely,
-Katie