Okay.... I am so.... I don't know that there is a word for this feeling.
It's.... it's a mixture of helplessness, fear, and pure ANGER. Okay, so let's go back to Thursday, shall we?
I was at the mall an hour early dropping off applications (I'm looking to leave my current job). So my hour is up and I have to be at work at five, so I go up to work. I go, I put my stuff up (Quietly), and sneak back out to the front. I get told "Don't go back to the back." At this point I am pretty sure our DM is there (She'd been there a lot that week- a bad sign in itself).
So then we're going up front to get the rundown of the plan for the night is (I cannot use the term we use for fear of revealing too much or revealing company secrets), and suddenly.... our store manager AND our district manager appear. And the last words from our Store manager? "Katie it has been a pleasure working with you." I could see it in her face she was trying so hard to keep it together and remain professional. I didn't buy it for a second.
I hugged her as tight as I could. And as I watched her go, I have NEVER felt so helpless and pissed off.
Actually, yeah, I have. When I lost Cassidy. This WHOLE THING is reminding me of when I lost Cassidy. Only this time.... I don't feel like I have no reason to keep going: I have no reason to STAY where I'm at now.
I.... let's be honest, y'all are aware of the work mom thing: Supervisor who cares about my well-being as well as my performance. I just.... I just LOST HER. This feels like it was just a mad display of power. Like, "I can fire you so I will." I feel like this is all part of some nefarious plot that I can't see yet, and I DON'T WANT CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
And so I had an interview yesterday, and even the loss of hours and pay (I would be starting at minimum wage again) sounds GOOD. It sounds like a fresh start. Scheduling wouldn't be much different than it is at where I am now. And I wouldn't be dealing with this fear and DRAMA.
And who's to say I'm not next? I'm having trouble meeting my goals. Obviously time with a company means NOTHING anymore. And I'm NOT going to have my record tarnished like that. I'M 19 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Maybe I'm being overly dramatic but ya know what? I hate this feeling. I hate the deja vu of Cassidy (Who has been on my mind so much lately, BTW), and I hate the fear. And the kicker? I have to WORK with the bitch on Monday. -______- Seriously, I'm just done with this whole situation.
So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take out my problems and feelings on my fanfic. Sorry things have been so negative around here lately, but.... Well, I'm going shopping today. So maybe some retail therapy will help. idk.
Sincerely,
-Katie
It's.... it's a mixture of helplessness, fear, and pure ANGER. Okay, so let's go back to Thursday, shall we?
I was at the mall an hour early dropping off applications (I'm looking to leave my current job). So my hour is up and I have to be at work at five, so I go up to work. I go, I put my stuff up (Quietly), and sneak back out to the front. I get told "Don't go back to the back." At this point I am pretty sure our DM is there (She'd been there a lot that week- a bad sign in itself).
So then we're going up front to get the rundown of the plan for the night is (I cannot use the term we use for fear of revealing too much or revealing company secrets), and suddenly.... our store manager AND our district manager appear. And the last words from our Store manager? "Katie it has been a pleasure working with you." I could see it in her face she was trying so hard to keep it together and remain professional. I didn't buy it for a second.
I hugged her as tight as I could. And as I watched her go, I have NEVER felt so helpless and pissed off.
Actually, yeah, I have. When I lost Cassidy. This WHOLE THING is reminding me of when I lost Cassidy. Only this time.... I don't feel like I have no reason to keep going: I have no reason to STAY where I'm at now.
I.... let's be honest, y'all are aware of the work mom thing: Supervisor who cares about my well-being as well as my performance. I just.... I just LOST HER. This feels like it was just a mad display of power. Like, "I can fire you so I will." I feel like this is all part of some nefarious plot that I can't see yet, and I DON'T WANT CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
And so I had an interview yesterday, and even the loss of hours and pay (I would be starting at minimum wage again) sounds GOOD. It sounds like a fresh start. Scheduling wouldn't be much different than it is at where I am now. And I wouldn't be dealing with this fear and DRAMA.
And who's to say I'm not next? I'm having trouble meeting my goals. Obviously time with a company means NOTHING anymore. And I'm NOT going to have my record tarnished like that. I'M 19 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Maybe I'm being overly dramatic but ya know what? I hate this feeling. I hate the deja vu of Cassidy (Who has been on my mind so much lately, BTW), and I hate the fear. And the kicker? I have to WORK with the bitch on Monday. -______- Seriously, I'm just done with this whole situation.
So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take out my problems and feelings on my fanfic. Sorry things have been so negative around here lately, but.... Well, I'm going shopping today. So maybe some retail therapy will help. idk.
Sincerely,
-Katie
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