SUPER HYPER POST WOO!~

THANK GOD FOR SUDAFED.

And no, I am not high, just veeeeeery sick and grateful for cold medicine. Like sudafed. For the first time in almost a week I feel ready to eat and run and have energy and just AWESOME SAUCE FEELINGS. Also I want to do math, which is very unheard of for me.

Also school is awesome. Except for going back and forth between the main campus and the library in the freezing cold. THAT is not awesome. But I like my teachers and classes and stuff. It's fun and I can't wait to go back next week. :D

But first I have to get textbooks. Which are expensive. :/ Oh well. Also I am escorting my brother to prom. It is official now. I have a dressed picked out and everything, I'm just waiting for it to go on sale. :D I'm really hyper too. :D:D:D:D:D:D

So yeah, that's life this week. :P Sorry this is so short but I am so hyper right now. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee XD

Sincerely,
-Katie

Truth bomb (TRIGGER WARNING)

Consent and lack thereof are mentioned today. If this is a problem, don't read. Also, resources will be at the end of the post. Also I'm doing this on my phone at 4:30 in the morning, so I will edit this later, promise. Now then:

______________________

I feel like between the hours of 3-5 AM, things are just raw and real.

I'm sick. I don't even know why I'm up other than my throat is on fire and there's just some things I need to get off my chest. It's not like I have much to do anyways....

Okay. So I may have vaguely hinted at it in the past, but..... Back in August, I was at the grocery store with my mom. She was gathering things up and sent me to get popcorn. And there was a guy there stocking shelves. He was way too old for me, had dark hair.... 

He started talking to me, like attempting to flirt. I kind of blew it off, told him I don't swing that way (IE, not interested in boys in case that wasn't obvious). He didn't get it. I opened my dumb mouth and said I was taken advantage of before (Yuugi). Then the fucker decided to hug me, NON CONSENSUALLY, and run his fucking fingers through my hair. It felt gross and wrong and disgusting and just all kinds of violating. He then proceeded to ask for my number. My answer? "Yeah you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

I ran. I hid in the bathroom and texted my friend. I didn't tell anyone for four days and barely ate. I thought no one would believe me or my mom would be mad I didn't give him my number. She absolutely was NOT mad at me, and eventually told someone.

He didn't get fired though. He was still working there last November. And I, again, stopped eating. It's dumb, I'm aware.

I am aware that it gives him power he shouldn't have. But at the same time it felt like control. Like I could do this and it would make up for it. And all of this is just so fucking DUMB.

It's sent my anxiety through the roof. Like seriously, I can't hardly stand almost anyone closer than arms length from me, with only about three exceptions. Anyone goes near my hair and I freak out. I realize there are girls going through far worse but everyone.... Everyone feels things differently.

And why am I telling you guys this? ....because I have an honesty policy here. This is my safe place, and one of my goals this year was to be my truest self. That means telling you the truth. Even if it isn't safe to tell you everything yet (even though I kinda have), I just.... I felt ready.

And now I think I'm ready to try and sleep. Thanks for listening. Stay strong, and I love you. Also, resources for anyone who may need them are here, here, and here.

Sincerely,

-Katie

Some stuff you should be aware of! :D

Okay so first off, HAPPY 2016! :D

Second, I MADE A THING. Idk how relevant it is, but anyways, you can check it out HERE. :)

Third, GOALS. GAH. Okay, so for those unaware, I do run a fanfic blog over HERE and I post (semi) regularly (PS, some posts are really weird and NSFW. You have been warned). Here, not so much. But this is mostly just like a journal, and honestly too many people close to me irl read it for me to post anything that is REALLY going on in my life. So, unfortunately, this got kind of neglected. Well, that and work/school. BUT NO MORE! :D

One of my goals for 2016 is to be my truest self, and part of that means being honest about who I am and my life. So... so...... Sigh. Not yet. I have to do that SAFELY. That is the number one piece of advice EVERYONE has been dishing out (Even my BFF....). So, not yet. But with any luck, at SOME POINT I will be able to tell you the full truth.

ALSO! Activism is another thing I want to do this year. An I either want to revive the project (GASP! Shoot me a comment if you don't know what I am talking about), or more advocacy for LGBT related causes. Which, knowing my mom, is probably going to result in a shit storm. :/ Yeah....

Also school is a thing. Figuring out my major is a thing I should probably work on too. Hmm..... Anyways yeah! Also VEDA (Subscribe to my Youtube channel if you are interested in watching me babble about my day). An just all sorts of things. :) This is gonna be a good year, I can feel it. Or maybe I'm just hoping. But I can do all of the above if I want.

I hope you choose to stay and be a part of all of my (mis)adventures and journey's! :)

Sincerely,
Katie