Ya know those old posts where I was depressed and just like FML?
Yeah well I'm back to that place. Soooooo much shit has gone down and I really don't care anymore. I just ache. Like two years ago, I was so depressed it physically hurt. I could feel the ache in my chest. Well that ache is back. So WHY all of a sudden am I depressed? How could I POSSIBLY be depressed when Prom is six days away? I'll tell you how; My little shit of a brother that's how.
He's done nothing but rage all weekend about EVERYTHING and my mom is stuttering again thanks to him. He fucked up my plans yesterday and today, and Ya know what? I'm really beginning to hate him and resent him. Now I know you're thinking, "How can you hate him? He's autistic and he can't help it." I have just one thing to say to you; STFU BITCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE OF HIM AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU EMPOWER THIS IDEA IN HIS HEAD THAT HE SHOULD GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE'S DISABLED!!!!!
And the worst part is I can't even cry or express my pain. I feel like it'd be selfish to do so and it wouldn't do me any good. So I sit, depressed with no way to cope, my chest aching.... Miserable. That's all I am. I seriously just wanna throw my hands in the air and do some really stupid shit but something keeps stopping me. I wonder... NO.
And so the war within me rages on. -____- Seriously, why is there only a finite amount of happiness avalible in the world and my share never lasts more than two weeks? Just... JADSKL;JASDF;LGHJDS;GLKHJK;L YA KNOW????????? Sigh.
I'll probably end up taking this down later, but two walks in the cold and rain deserves a little venting!! >:( And I really don't wanna bother anyone with it so... might as well tell the whole of the internet. Sigh.
Just leave me be...
Sincerely,
-Katie
Yeah well I'm back to that place. Soooooo much shit has gone down and I really don't care anymore. I just ache. Like two years ago, I was so depressed it physically hurt. I could feel the ache in my chest. Well that ache is back. So WHY all of a sudden am I depressed? How could I POSSIBLY be depressed when Prom is six days away? I'll tell you how; My little shit of a brother that's how.
He's done nothing but rage all weekend about EVERYTHING and my mom is stuttering again thanks to him. He fucked up my plans yesterday and today, and Ya know what? I'm really beginning to hate him and resent him. Now I know you're thinking, "How can you hate him? He's autistic and he can't help it." I have just one thing to say to you; STFU BITCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE OF HIM AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU EMPOWER THIS IDEA IN HIS HEAD THAT HE SHOULD GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE'S DISABLED!!!!!
And the worst part is I can't even cry or express my pain. I feel like it'd be selfish to do so and it wouldn't do me any good. So I sit, depressed with no way to cope, my chest aching.... Miserable. That's all I am. I seriously just wanna throw my hands in the air and do some really stupid shit but something keeps stopping me. I wonder... NO.
And so the war within me rages on. -____- Seriously, why is there only a finite amount of happiness avalible in the world and my share never lasts more than two weeks? Just... JADSKL;JASDF;LGHJDS;GLKHJK;L YA KNOW????????? Sigh.
I'll probably end up taking this down later, but two walks in the cold and rain deserves a little venting!! >:( And I really don't wanna bother anyone with it so... might as well tell the whole of the internet. Sigh.
Just leave me be...
Sincerely,
-Katie
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