Scary thought.
But..... I can't stay away from this blog. It's the only creative outlet I have left that has been TOO censored.....
A lot is going on in my life right now. School is starting, my brother needs oral surgery, My mom's health isn't that great, we are still living with my grandparents....... And a lot of other things I can't even begin to mention. I'm relapsing in certain areas of my life and some days it takes all the strength I have to get out of bed, because I never know if today is going to be a good day, or a day I wish I had just stayed in my room all day.
But more to the point...... I have to make some really hard plans now. Things...... are complicated between me and my parents right now, and while things are seemingly fine at the moment, I don't trust it to last. That's sad isn't it? I can't even trust my parents any more. They're supposed to be the two people you can trust no matter what, and yet I don't have that. But what I do have is something called Big Time Rush disease.
I am a rusher, and sometimes that's the only thing that holds me together. I know it seems stupid to rely on four boys who sing and dance, but they're more than that to me. They sing me to sleep, they sing my pain away...... And I'm not the only one. That's what Rushers do: We fangirl about how much BTR has changed our lives and helped us through some hard times. And I'm really learning that right now. That, and a lot of other things.
So I'll try and post, but it probably won''t be super happy for a while. I just need a place where I can be open and not be judged, because as it stands right now I don't even have that. So....
Sorry for getting all emotional, just really needed to do that okay?
-Katy the surprisingly emotional blogmaster
But..... I can't stay away from this blog. It's the only creative outlet I have left that has been TOO censored.....
A lot is going on in my life right now. School is starting, my brother needs oral surgery, My mom's health isn't that great, we are still living with my grandparents....... And a lot of other things I can't even begin to mention. I'm relapsing in certain areas of my life and some days it takes all the strength I have to get out of bed, because I never know if today is going to be a good day, or a day I wish I had just stayed in my room all day.
But more to the point...... I have to make some really hard plans now. Things...... are complicated between me and my parents right now, and while things are seemingly fine at the moment, I don't trust it to last. That's sad isn't it? I can't even trust my parents any more. They're supposed to be the two people you can trust no matter what, and yet I don't have that. But what I do have is something called Big Time Rush disease.
I am a rusher, and sometimes that's the only thing that holds me together. I know it seems stupid to rely on four boys who sing and dance, but they're more than that to me. They sing me to sleep, they sing my pain away...... And I'm not the only one. That's what Rushers do: We fangirl about how much BTR has changed our lives and helped us through some hard times. And I'm really learning that right now. That, and a lot of other things.
So I'll try and post, but it probably won''t be super happy for a while. I just need a place where I can be open and not be judged, because as it stands right now I don't even have that. So....
Sorry for getting all emotional, just really needed to do that okay?
-Katy the surprisingly emotional blogmaster
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