I just need to vent alright?

I don't care if you read this or not, but I just can't take this anymore. So now, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANNOT TAKE THE JUDGEMENT FROM HER ANYMORE!!!!!!! "Katie go get your old job back." "No it's not too bad." "It's always gonna be too much just grow up." "Katie has enough control we don't need to lock the blades up." "Gavin doesn't have to take the TV apart." DO YOU SEE WHAT I DEAL WITH FROM THAT OLD BITCH!!?!?!?!?!?!

I'm sorry but I can't stand my grandmother! She lives a fantasy world, where everything is perfect and Katie has control over herself, and this and that AND I CAN'T TAKE IT OKAY??????? I don't even think she knows about this blog, the accomplishments I've had with it. But no, all I do is spend my day on the computer, even though I haven't hardly been on at all this week, I've had to pretty much- Oh wait I can't say that. :/ BUT I CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE REALLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE OF THE DAMN JUDGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!

And it's just about to make me crazy!!!!! I can't handle it!!! I want it. I want a release. I don't want a blade or a knife but maybe just some time with someone special, someone who will listen, make me feel good. But I don't get that privilege. No, now we only get each other on Sunday nights. Sigh.

I just wish things would change. That she would understand, listen. I wish she would see how good the choices I'm making are for me. That quitting my job and taking the escape from that stressor was a GOOD THING. That I'm actually building a future for myself on here. But that's just it; she never will.

Her mind is going. She'll never see how much she's hurting the people she claims to love. I swear my mom is my only ally at home. She gets it. And now I am going to get pulled off again. Sigh.

-Katie