Tuesday, May 14, 2013

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course it would happen this way.

It's only fair. I just barely begin to feel happy, I barely begin to feel better, to not be sick, AND THEN I WAKE UP TO GOD DAMN TEXT SAYING I HAVE GIRL SCOUTS TODAY AND I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN EXCERPT FROM MY STORY I NEVER FUCKING WROTE AND SWEETS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm over here like "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME NO NO NO AND IF IT WASN'T CLEAR NOO!!!!!!!!!!!" But do I get a choice? NO. Because I promised my mom I would finish the year off, even if I was just pretending to be happy. So once again I have to go sit with a bunch of people who know absolutely nothing, save two, who probably never even thought I would ever be the kind to cut or starve myself, and pretend I feel good both physically and mentally. -____- Will someone please just make it end so I don't have to deal with those sheltered ignorant bitches?

I'll never tell them. They'd all react the same. They'd all run. Mostly because they couldn't take it, couldn't handle the fact that I was so low at one point, that I get that low every time I see them, how much I pretend. But it's the last time, then I never have to deal with this kind of shit again. Maybe notes are the way to deal with it? I almost always end up taking them when I'm with a group of people and I can't seem to make myself talk. Yeah, maybe that'd help.

All I wanna do is just curl up in a ball and sleep today. But I don't get that luxury. Not today. I will make it through this- SHIT I GOTTA GO SORRY!!!!

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