Okay wow.
I AM EIGHT PAGEVIEWS FROM 500!!!!!!!!! :O And I have my first dance class tonight and I am REALLY nervous! Why am I nervous?
.........Eh, what the heck? I can't dance. I WANT to be able to dance, but I can't. I have no rhythm, no coordination, and gravity already hates me enough. I don't know why I am doing this other than for a PE credit. I'd RATHER spend tonight working on my story that I just got to a really interesting point in and be able to go to bed early since I once again have to be at work at EIGHT IN THE MORNING. =____= Why did I beg for hours again?
Oh that's right. I desperately need the money so I can have a car to live in a year from now. Yes, things are still bad with my parents. I think they are trying, but at the same time I don't think they are. They're going to think whatever they want to think about me. I just have to learn not to let it get to me and to be my own person and accept myself the way I am. Which brings me back to making plans so that I CAN be that person and be happy too.
I just.... I'm beginning to lose faith in myself. What if I am the person my parents think I am? What if I am just a sick pervert? But.... I can't afford to think that way. Not right now. I have to focus on school, my job, my future.... Oh my future....
THAT is what is killing me the most right now. That thanks to my damn computer and my lack of knowledge and being outed, my future and my goals and dreams are all gone. they vanished when my parents rejected me. And now I am going to have to fight for everything. I could go on and on but I have to go finish getting ready for dance class.
Until next time....
-Katie
I AM EIGHT PAGEVIEWS FROM 500!!!!!!!!! :O And I have my first dance class tonight and I am REALLY nervous! Why am I nervous?
.........Eh, what the heck? I can't dance. I WANT to be able to dance, but I can't. I have no rhythm, no coordination, and gravity already hates me enough. I don't know why I am doing this other than for a PE credit. I'd RATHER spend tonight working on my story that I just got to a really interesting point in and be able to go to bed early since I once again have to be at work at EIGHT IN THE MORNING. =____= Why did I beg for hours again?
Oh that's right. I desperately need the money so I can have a car to live in a year from now. Yes, things are still bad with my parents. I think they are trying, but at the same time I don't think they are. They're going to think whatever they want to think about me. I just have to learn not to let it get to me and to be my own person and accept myself the way I am. Which brings me back to making plans so that I CAN be that person and be happy too.
I just.... I'm beginning to lose faith in myself. What if I am the person my parents think I am? What if I am just a sick pervert? But.... I can't afford to think that way. Not right now. I have to focus on school, my job, my future.... Oh my future....
THAT is what is killing me the most right now. That thanks to my damn computer and my lack of knowledge and being outed, my future and my goals and dreams are all gone. they vanished when my parents rejected me. And now I am going to have to fight for everything. I could go on and on but I have to go finish getting ready for dance class.
Until next time....
-Katie
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