My 18th year of life.

WHERE DID THE YEAR GO??

Like seriously. I mean it doesn't even feel like that time has gone by. But it has. Now most people look back on all the stuff that happened to them in the past twelve months and I am going to be cliche and go along, but.... with a twist. ;) So, without further adieu, MY "THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2013" LIST! :D

THING #1: ACTUALLY MAKING IT TO 2013. As some of you know, last year I tried to end my life. I didn't care what happened to me. But somehow time went on, and here I am. And it may have been an uphill battle, but it was worth it. <3 p="">
THING #2: RECOVERY. As some of you know (If you've been following me in the past 16 months! :) that at the start of this year I was still majorly depressed and self-harming. But somehow... I've reached the point where I am considered, "recovered." It's been... oh my god it's been TEN MONTHS since I last cut. I FEEL again. And not like either anger or numb, I feel EVERY emotion again. I'm not AFRAID of them. I'm better, and I didn't even realize it until June. It's been amazing.

THING #3: MET MY IDOLS. I can't put it in a short paragraph, so just read this.

THING #4: I ATTEMPTED TO DATE. :P Yeah.... Shortly after I relapsed I made a new friend online, and then a couple of days after the fire in West, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, and from there it was bliss. At least until my mom found out. Then it kinda went downhill... :/ I'm single again. BUT! Despite what everyone says, in my mind it was a valid relationship, so Xp To anyone who says otherwise. (And that Xp is my 14-year-old self's version of a tongue sticky-outy emote.)

THING #5: CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY STRUGGLES. This is one of the more recent things actually. It had to happen. I mean if I ever intended to make a complete recovery, I had to. It went over really well though. They all learned something. One girl was moved to tears when I read my story. I get to do the presentation I did for them again in February. The only thing I wish was different was that my former best friend had been there.

THING #6: I BECAME AN ADULT!!!!!! :D:D:D Yes yes, I turned 18 this year. I didn't do much to celebrate, but I spent the day on my phone with my friends. I guess that's how adults celebrate birthdays? :P I dunno.

THING #7: THIS BLOG. Oh my god guys, we've soared to new heights here. We started the year at, what? a little over 1,000 views all time? We've QUADRUPLED that. We're almost at 5,000 views! :D

Okay enough about this year. Let's discuss my goals for next year.

REACH 10,000 VIEWS. And that all depends on you guys. :) You are some of the most awesome people. YOU are the ones who stuck by me. The ones who have been able to see this story unfold. Not that anyone else can't go back and reread it all. It's just... You know how important you are. :) And I thank every single one of you.

SAVE MORE PEOPLE. Something good has to come from all that suffering. I have the power to save a life here. I know the power my story could have. I've seen the impact one story has. and with my Gold Award I can educate, inspire, and save, just by giving someone two hours of my time. And I want to do that.

FINISH SCHOOL. I'm a bit behind at the moment, but once I finish, I can do anything! :D I want to go to college, become a political journalist, work for Fox News Network, maybe expose the liberal radicalists for what they are.....

FIND LOVE AGAIN. Even if it failed the first time, it was so magical, how could I not want to try dating again? I want it so bad....

And that is this year in review! Please comment, follow/subscribe (There's an email thing around the page somewhere... ;) And SHARE! I love you all and have a happy new year!

-Katie

TWITTER: @Thatcoolrusher
INSTAGRAM: @Cupcakerusher15
YOUTUBE: Theotherguitargeek

It's kind of crazy.

Another deep post from late at night.

But seriously. Look at everything that has happened to me, all that I've done this year... It's incredible. It's amazing.

Last year I started and ended it with depression. Last year I spent New Years eve reading a book about a girl who cuts, hoping to gain some sense of comfort from it. And in a bizarre way, I did. It gave me the strength to ask for help and to tell my parents the truth about my relapse. It didn't go very well and needless to say I went to bed mad that night. But still.... something changed in that moment.

And then of course the next day... well... nevermind. Point is, I have a long, big speech post about everything this year for NYE. But just... take a look at everything YOU'VE done this year. All the things you've accomplished, both big and small, this year.

You'd be amazed I think.
-Katie

Blogging at Starbucks again! :D

Yes!

This is just like last fall only withOUT the depression. Instead this is a happy post! :D

I've got a gingerbread latte (AMAZING!) and pumpkin loaf with whipped cream (BEST BREAKFAST EVER OKAY???) and I still have 30 minutes before I have to work! :D I should probably get back to eating, so I'll talk to y'all after work! :D

-Katie

10 PM post WOOHOO!!

Forgive me, because as this post says, I'm writing at 10 PM and I'm kind of sleepy.

BUT!! I just HAD to catch you guys up on my life and all the (not at all) magical things going on with me at this time! :P

So yeah TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE OMG YOU GUYS!!! :D:D:D:D:D I have made it THUS FAR without getting sick! :O I just have to get to tomorrow night without a sore throat and I am HOME FREE!!! :D Omg that means I'm ACTUALLY GOING TO SING AT MIDNIGHT MASS OMG GUYS OMG OMG OMG OMG 404 PAGE NOT FOUND AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D

And now that I have had that freakout, I ALSO HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW. >:( And I have my mom to thank for that. I originally had the day off. But SHE CALLED AND PUT ME BACK ON. -__- I love her to death, but IF MY CLOCK DOESN'T HAVE DOUBLE DIGITS IT'S TOO FREAKIN EARLY FOR ME TO BE UP UGHHHHH. But that also means I get starbucks, so.... maybe it won't be so bad? Idk.

Work stresses me out soooooo much. It's gotten to the point I literally have mini panic attacks before work. And that is REALLY IRRITATING. I'm always so scared I'm going to get yelled at, and I feel like if I don't have one then I'll have a bad day and I will get yelled at, because the one time I didn't it happened. The logic makes no sense I know but then again does ANYTHING with anxiety make sense? :/

I also did a little shopping for me tonight! :D Photos to come, I promise. :) Though they won't be HD because, sadly, I dropped my iPhone 4 in a bowl of water. I think I mentioned that.

Anyways, I'm about to fall asleep typing, so talk to you all tomorrow, aka CHRISTMAS EVE!!!! :D
-Katie

Walking in (or driving through) a winter wonderland!

So if the above is any indication, it iced in Texas! :D

Yes, this is going to be another attempt at a photo blog about driving to Walmart in the ice on Saturday. DON'T JUDGE NOTHING EVER HAPPENS AROUND HERE AND THIS IS PRETTY COOL I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THE TREES:

IS THAT NOT COOL?!?!?! But yeah, trying to get to the car was both awesome (As in awe!) and deadly.

And what was more interesting was that the side of the car was literally frozen shut.

That's what it looked like trying to see out the window on that side. But I mean it wasn't completely terrifying.

There were hot guys too. ;) I personally wished the one with his head down in the gray vest had noticed me. They were buying nerf guns. :P

At least the pine trees fared better than most of the other trees in our neighborhood. One is still down as I'm typing this. It had just gotten the lights and decorations on it too. :( So we came home and then...

Patrick Claus came to town! :P And that was our Saturday afternoon adventure to Walmart in the ice! Please do be awesome and leave a comment telling me if you liked this kind of blog and stuff. And I MAY have some big news for everyone tomorrow. ;)

We will see!!! :P
-Katie

Why I hate iTunes! :P

OKAY SO REMEMBER A MONTH AGO WHEN I DID THAT PRESENTATION?!?!

Well.... I GET TO DO IT AGAIN!!! :D Only this time, it's at YOUTH GROUP! :O I am beyond excited and really nervous all at the same time. I don't know that I'll ever be able to do it and not be nervous. But I have about two months to get this thing ready to go again. And I am in charge of EVERYTHING I think. It'll be in February, and with a little bit of work, it's gonna be perfect! :) I'M SO EXCITED!!!! :D

Though, like last time, I'm a little scared of backlash, though not in the same way exactly. :/ I just don't want to get labelled or judged is all, ya know? But It's a larger group, it's just.... I have time to put this together the way I want it to and prepare. IF I ACTUALLY GET COMPUTER TIME!! :P

In other news, I HATE ITUNES SO MUCH RN EVEN THOUGH IT MAY BE MY FAULT AUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Every time I try and put music on my phone this happens. I think it purposely happens so that you DON'T plug your phone in and just buy stuff on iTunes. :P Oh well, I think I've fixed it now... UGH I HATE ITUNES!!!!

I think I'm gonna have a very angry call with Apple now so...

bye guys! :)
-Katie

To share or not to share?

Yes, I just put that as my title. :P

The only reason is because I'm debating whether or not to share this blog with my Girl Scout troop. The only reason I have reservations about it is because, well... this. I feel really bad about it now, but someone once told me that you should never delete, take down, or destroy your writing in any way, shape, or form. And so I don't, and I'm not changing that for anyone.

ANYWHO, I am aware of how long it's been since I've posted. Sorry about that. :/ Things have just been so freakin crazy around here and I've been sooooooooooooooooo busy. BUT! I might have SOMETHING worth posting about in here today! :D

Aside from my FIREY INFERNO OF RAGE BECAUSE OF TWO PEOPLE WHO I CAN'T EVEN LOOK IN THE EYE NOW (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) It's been kinda nice around here. I've been working (FIREY INFERNO AT ONE PERSON) and... I'm learning there. And my grandparents just got home from Florida (FIREY INFERNO AT THE OTHER PERSON TIMES ONE THOUSAND!!!!!), and I GOT THEIR HUGE BED WHILE THEY WERE GONE!!! :D

Yes, they leave it to me when they leave, so I get to have the room with a HUGE bed and a TV in it, AND my own bathroom (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). And I got to go shopping yesterday. GASP! I know. BUT it was all under thirty bucks, so yay! :D OH!!!

And the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I WAS A ROCKSTAR!!! :P So there's usually three guitar players at Youth Group and for some reason (Don't ask okay?) He got grounded, so it was just me and the other guy, Kevin and I ROCKED IT FOR ONCE!! :D I normally suck when it comes to my guitar cuz I've been out of practice for so long. Idk it just made me feel good. :)

and today I need prayers as I am going to try and get my youth leader to let me do my presentation at Youth Group at the beginning of the year. :/ I'm not scared, but I'm nervous she won't approve it. But then again, as long as I do my job right, then whatever happens will happen.

Yeah this blog has no point I'm sorry. :P BUT KENDALL IS 23 NOW AND ON TOUR WITH HEFFRON DRIVE AND I'M SAD CUZ I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THEM AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE AND THEN JAMES SAW SOME LADY PICKING HER NOSE YESTERDAY JUST GO CHECK HIS TWITTER OKAY BAI GUISE!!! :D

lol I just had to do that. BACK TO PLANNING THE GIRL SCOUT MEETING!! (It's harder than you'd think).

-Katie

a desperate letter

It's been a long time since I wrote to you.

And even longer since it's been out of fear and concern for you. But something came to me at church today. And it's freaking me out. I got the feeling you were in serious trouble. Like life threatening trouble. And I can't get to you. Do you know how hard that is for me?

To once have you at my finger tips, and now to not even be able to hit you up on twitter. I have NO POSSIBLE WAY to know you're safe and sound, or at least that you're still here on this earth. It scares me to death to know that if you die today I can't tell you goodbye one last time. To tell you I love you, or to try and fight for you. All I can do is this right here, a letter you may not even read.

I've made mistakes. I've said some stuff I shouldn't have. But whatever the hell could have you thinking of taking your life isn't worth it! You have to fight, even if it's for me. This is selfish, but I don't care! I just want you to stay, to live up to everything I know you can be. To join the air force. To get married and have kids. Or to be single. To be whatever you want. Please!

I've given you this number and I'll give it again: 1-800-273-8255. And if you don't feel safe calling that then talk to me. I don't have a working phone number, but I have a kik. I'm Cupcakerusher17. I've still got twitter, only a different username. I'm @thatcoolrusher. I'm here. I want to talk. I still love you and I always will my friend. I guess this is the only thing I have. You may not even be reading this. That kills me inside but I have to try. Just please.

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If you're not her, than I have a challenge for you; I want you to share this. I don't care who or where or how you share this but do it! My reasoning is that everyone knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, and that this could eventually end up in her hands.\You may not realize it's her if it does, but trust me, she will. I know this seems selfish, but just humor me and share. on twitter, tumblr, instagram, pintrest, any other social media, in person, in email, I don't care. But if this blog can get 50+ views in one day, then I think we can get this spread around. Can y'all at least try for me?

-Katie

I GOTS A JOB AGAIN!!! :D:D:D

And this time there will be NO drama like there was before.

Yes, I think this will be a MUCH better fit than cashiering at a restaurant. ;) IT'S RETAIL GUYS, AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT A DESIGNER STORE!!!! :O I would tell you where it is, but I feel as though social media policies have it right in asking you not to post that sort of thing on your accounts. That way if you end up in a major depressive state and look completely inept and like a complete trainwreck, at least you aren't wearing your company's name while you do it. ;)

BUT I DOUBT I WILL HAVE THAT PROBLEM THIS TIME. It's seasonal and I think the worst day will be Black Friday and the week of Christmas. My job isn't too hard and it's a dollar and a quarter more than minimum wage (THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR THAT!!!) And I have a feeling I will be quite happy with my new job. :)

In other news my presentation at Girl Scouts went exceptionally well, even if it felt a bit morbid and sarcastic. I actually brought one girl to tears with my story. I think this is the start of something. And I feel really good about it too. :)

About the only thing stressing me out right now is the fact that I can't avoid certain people any more and they're not gonna be able to run away from their problems any more either. I've caused a problem now, and I educated people on eating disorders and the signs to look for. If she presents them, people are gonna know. I just... I try really hard not to dwell on that fact, because then I get really depressed because I think about her and worry about her.

I guess that about catches you guys up. Not much else has happened other than Youth Group in my life. and BTW, I LOVE YOUTH GROUP!!! :D WAIT I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!

I suck at hiding my jealousy apparently. :P MORE ON THAT NEXT TIME LOVELIES!!
-Katie

I know I haven't posted.

Sorry about that.

I've been SUUUUUUUUUUPER busy lately! :D And in a good way too. First came youth group which I am LOVING. It's just... wow. And I've also had HOMECOMING!!! :D:D:D That was freaking INCREDIBLE!! And then, I WENT TO SIX FLAGS!!!!!!!! :O:O:O

Yeah, it was world youth day, and I had a magical ticket to fun! :D But I didn't get to get on any of the safe, non-terrifying roller coasters. -___- Oh well. I made a new friend too! AND I SURVIVED FRIGHT FEST Y'ALL!!! :P Piggy DIDN'T get me (It was piggy from piggy's blood shed, and he came out with a chain saw), the zombie DIDN'T get me (Some dude who chose us when we were on our way to Looney Tunes land and Pandemonium), and I got a ducky too! :D A stuffed ducky mind you. :P

And now I am preparing for Girl Scouts next week. And leading the whole meeting. And teaching everyone about depression and the physical manifestations of it. And yes I know that depression has several physical manifestations, but the three I am choosing to cover are; Self-harm, eating disorders, and suicide. And the only reason I am doing this is because it's the only way I can safely tell them the truth.

Yes, they know absolutely NOTHING about it all. I haven't shared this blog on facebook for that reason, and somehow they never noticed my cuts. And I feel like I have to after everything that's gone down with my friend. Like this is the first step towards healing for both of us. And I intend to share the letters I've written here to her with the group. Maybe. We'll see.

Just pray this goes well, because I am still so terrified that what happened with my friend will happen with the whole troop. My mom doesn't seem to think so and she's even talked with a few moms, and they think it needs to be done. But I'm still just so scared. I opened up to my friend and look what happened? That's why I feel like this has to go perfectly. Ugh.

I have a feeling it wll go well though, somewhere inside of me. Just whisper a prayer for me on November 5th, okay? :)

And now I am off to work on the stuff for this badge. Away!!!!
-Katie

A letter to someone again.

Two nights ago I saw you.

And I thought of you. How good you looked, how happy you were. How for once things weren't awkward or painful, at least on my end. I saw you and I thought maybe things were better for you. That for once you weren't in pain, or killing your pain with pain. That you weren't taking a pocket-knife to your skin, and I hope you didn't purge. You ate all of your dinner. That made me so happy. You have no idea how excited I was that you did that. Compared to the last time we ate together.... It made me feel good.

And you said words to me again! Do you know how long it's been since you've said more than necessary to me? I do, and I never thought that would happen. And yes, you are beautiful. Even in work out pants and an old T-shirt you're still beautiful. You're a little too skinny, but after what you've been through, it's okay. I still wish I could fix it all for you, but in time I think you'll find the healing I did.

Just know I never EVER hated you. I ALWAYS loved you. Even when we were ripped apart, I thought it was what you wanted, and what would make you happy. I promise you, even if we never go back to the way we were, I'll always love you and I'll always want you to be happy.

-Katie

Why you should hate Harry Reid right now.

HE SAID HE WASN'T GONNA HELP KIDS WITH CANCER GET TREATMENT!!!!

Well kind of. It went like this; There was going to be a study at the national institute of health for a group of kids who have cancer. Harry Reid appeared on CNN today, and was questioned, and well... hear for yourself here. He said that when, earlier in the day, he appeared on the senate floor chastising the republican party for not caring about children with cancer. As my dad said, "Can you say HYPOCRITE?!"

And he is to thank for this whole shut down. The republicans in the house have been passing minute funding bills all day, but grumpy pants above them has said no all day! Meanwhile a woman had her dream wedding at the Grand Canyon ruined because the parks are closed. The WWII veterans, who traveled MILES, who are 70 and 80 years old, to see the memorial put there in their honor, were told that they couldn't see it because of Mr. Reid. Granted that's a totally different story, and those men had EVERY RIGHT to move those gates, but they wouldn't have had to if senator Reid had just put his petty attitude aside and done what he was put in to office to do; LEAD THIS COUNTRY AND PASS BILLS THAT BENEFIT THE PEOPLE, NOT HIS PAYCHECK. He is President Obama's lapdog and it's HIS fault the government is shut down and thousands of people are now out of work. He can pass the blame off on the Republican party all he wants, but ultimately this is HIS fault.

I know this isn't the typical babble I post about here, but this stuff needs to be said, and I'm not about to let the opportunity pass. And feel free to comment telling me otherwise, or tweet me @Thatcoolrusher. I want to hear your opinions and thoughts on this, as well as hear your feedback. Let's get a discussion going!

And I intend to post about this shut down as it goes on. This is a unique opportunity, and we should learn and read as much as we can about this, so we learn from these peoples mistakes. Because history often rhymes, or repeats itself. I hope to hear from you guys soon, in the comments and on twitter!

Oh, and remember Ted Cruz? While the government is in shutdown and he's still getting paid (Again, hit me up on twitter ;), he's donating all of it to charity.

Until tomorrow
-Katie

WOAHHHHHH

In two days... I'M AN ADULT.

Well, at least in my eyes- woah itaclics. :P Sorry about that! xD Yeah I'm a young adult by law. AND I CAN VOTE!!! :D:D:D And there are local elections (At least where I live) This year!!! :O

But in all honesty, that and buying stuff off of infomercials is about the only recognition I'll be getting around here. -__- NO ONE APPRECIATES ME!!!! :P I'm still in school, I just broke up with my boyfriend- oh wait.. I don't think I ever told you guys that. :/

Yeah, I'm back on the market. BUT I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. Nor am I really allowed because my parents.... nevermind. Just, nevermind. The only boys I need in my life at the moment are my dorks, Big Time Rush. :) I'm actually listening to 24/Seven right now! :D

AND ARIANA GRANDE AJSKLFJFKL;DGHJ;JKL; I MEAN HAVE YOU HEARD HER NEW ALBUM!!!?!?!?!?!?!?! If not you are a sad individual and should go get it. Or look it up on YouTube. YOU MUST HEAR THAT ALBUM!!!!!!!! :P

I know this post has no point really. Just a funny little update to tell ya what's up with me. OH! How many of you liked my little political post? I'm thinking about doing more of that. What do you think? Would you read it? Lemme know in the comments or twitter @Thatcoolrusher

Until next time Lovelies!
-Katie

POLITICAL POST OMG

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!

Hello and welcome to Katie's daily crisis! The part of her blog- Okay I can't. xD So yeah my mom put me in a church history class and I apparently missed the first meeting! -__- real good start I know. BUT! BEFORE WE GO ANYWHERE! We must talk about Senator Ted Cruz's filibuster that lasted 21 hours! :O

Okay this started at 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon and went until noon today. ALL NIGHT that man stood there, trying to delay the vote on Obamacare. No sleep, no water breaks, and no bathroom breaks. Let's just let this all sink in. 21 hours. 21 HOURS he stood up there just talking. But that's getting ahead.

Let us first, before we dissect this speech/marathon/filibuster/whatever this is, Let's find out what a filibuster actually is.

The dictionary definition of a filibuster is, "an effort to prevent action in a legislature (such as the U.S. Senate or House of Representatives) by making a long speech or series of speeches." Thank you Merriam-Webster online dictionary. :) And the funny part is they can talk about anything in the world while the person(s) are talking. ANYTHING. They can read names out of a phonebook and it'd be consented. You can also have more than one speaker, but the point is no one leaves until they are either A: Cut off (Like today in the case of Ted Cruz), B: Get their way, or C: Give in. What did Senator Cruz do in the 21 hours he was up there?

......Well for one he read green eggs and ham to his daughters at home. :) and after telling them goodnight, added, "Let me say more broadly to everyone, “Green Eggs and Ham” has some applicability, as curious as it might sound, to ObamaCare, because 3\1/2\ years ago President Obama and Senate Democrats told the American people, Just try ObamaCare. Just try it. There were an awful lot of Republicans who were very skeptical of it, I think for good reasons, but very skeptical. And we were told try it, try it, try it, try it. Unfortunately, through an exercise of brute political force, ObamaCare became the law of the land.

But the difference with “Green Eggs and Ham” is when Americans tried it, they discovered they did not like greeneggs and ham and they did not like ObamaCare either. They did not like ObamaCare in a box, with a fox, in a house, or with a mouse. It is not working." If you are interested in the complete transcript of Ted Cruz's 21 hour speech, you can read it here. For more of just the highlights, click here.

This has concluded the political portion of today! :P I don't feel like posting my history class woes here, so I'll save that for later. If this makes sense or was just plain interesting feel free to let me know here, or on twitter, @Thatcoolrusher :)

Until next time!
-Katie

The Katie Scale of approval! :D (Patent pending..)

Remember back in June when we developed that system and used it to rate opening acts?

If not click here! And then Kiersten gave me a look for only giving Victoria Justice 4.5 out of 5? :P Oh wait that was on her twitcam.... BESIDE THE POINT!! :D Today we are going to rate things! :D:D:D YAY FOR MY OWN WAY OF DOING STUFF!!! :P And the first thing we're going to rate is....


THE CITY OF PLANO'S BALLOON FESTIVAL FIREWORK SPECTACULAR!! :D

Rating: 4 out of 5

REVIEW/REASON FOR RATING: Well, a few things didn't give it a perfect five. First off my dad had to work and fireworks are a family thing. -__- And my brother.... My Blessing is really obsessive and tends to ruin things okay? But honestly, they were amazing. We couldn't go to the actual festival so we were in the car in a field and we could still see em really well. So... Kudos to the people in charge! :D


ARIANA GRANDE'S ALBUM, "Your's Truly."

Rating: 4.9 out of 5

REVIEW/REASON FOR RATING: JEKLSTGJKF;DSGKJ;LDGKJ;FDS It's perfect!!! :D Okay so I'm blown away every time she opens her mouth. But this album is just... PERFECTION. Oh, why not five out of five? Please don't hate me, but she needs to work on enunciation. But that's honestly the only thing I can find a flaw in! It's amazing and if you have not gotten a copy (Either physical copy or digital copy), GO FREAKING GET IT OKAY?!?!?!

Alright next time we talk I may be an actual adult! :D Yep, my birthday is next Sunday!! :D It's gonna be freaking amazing, because I'll be a legal adult! I can vote! I can buy things off of infomercials! I CAN GET A JOB ANYWHERE!!! Oh how that sweet day can't come fast enough!!

AND YES I AM WATCHING THE MACARENA VIDEO AGAIN!!!! I sort of feel like I'll go down in the fandom as the girl who got BTR to do the macarena for me. :P PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR SAYING THAT I WAS DEALING WITH A LOT AT THE TIME AND THOSE BOYS MADE MY DAY OKAY?!?!?!?

Kthanxbai! :D
-Katie

The lack of posts blog! :D

I have neglected my baby here. :(

Sorry about that. But.... I really haven't had a lot to talk about lately. Buuuut....... MY BIRTHDAY IS IN THIRTEEN DAYS!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D Omg that means my mom needs to order that bracelet!!! :o Sorry, but...

Well, my red BTR bracelet is holding up really well, but my white one.... The elastic keeps coming out of it.
:( So my mom and I decided it was time I got a Choose 180 bracelet!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Kendall and his family- oh just read and bask in this awesomeness yourself! :D http://www.choose180.com

Anyways, that's about the only thing I really want. :/ Other than maybe 5,000 views by the 29th? :) I don't normally ask for a lot, and I don't have many friends to celebrate with anymore -_- I hate being anti-social/socially awkward. Well, I guess if I want to go to homecoming, that this is a good thing. :)

Anyways.... yeah. :P I got nothing. AND YES I WILL WATCH THAT VIDEO AGAIN THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR!!! And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, click here! :D http://blessingind.blogspot.com/2012/08/omozdfnglkxfdnhlmxdgnhlkvc.html

RUSHER OUT YO!!
-Katie

(PS: I'm still debating whether or not to post about the camping trip I took this weekend. Details to come. :)

Welp.

Since apparently BOTH of my parents know this now....

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!! :D:D:D Yes, we've been dating for almost six months, and he is the most wonderful amazing person. This is actually my first real relationship, and it's online. Don't give me flack for that, we make it work and I don't see any boys lining up outside my door! *COUGH* jerkface at my church who broke my heart *COUGH*

Now then, my mom did NOT find out how I wanted her to! Big shock. :P Does anything EVER go the way I plan for it to go? See, his birthday is tomorrow, and I wanted to go to the library to video chat, but sleepy silly me forgot to think up an alibi for WHY I wanted to go to the library! So my mom took my phone and I'm pretty sure she read my emails or something. :P She cornered me and found out. Now WHY she told my dad, I don't know. I'm more scared of him then I was her.

Mama has been pretty cool about it though. Aside from the occasional question or "I'm very concerned for your safety but I trust you," The first day has been pretty good. And you know what? I FEEL good! I don't have to hide in fear anymore! I can be as open as I want about this! YIPEE!!!!

Now if only she were more open minded about other things. :P lol. Ah, life is good. Now I can talk with him tonight, and NOT WORRY ABOUT SOMEONE WALKING IN ON ME!!!! :D:D:D:D

lol. Love ya babe!
-Katie

How to (attempt and fail) to make pancakes at 6 AM!

Hello my wonderful readers! I am going to attempt to photo-blog today about my adventure of making pancakes at 6 o'clock this morning! :D LET US BEGIN.

So I was wide awake with my little brother, and I decided, "Hm, I'm hungry. LET'S MAKE PANCAKES!!! :D" I usually do make pancakes when I wake up freakishly early. So now I will reveal to you the secrets of making pancakes.

STEP 1: Get your pancake mix! I personally, prefer....

Bisquick. IT IS THE CHAMPION WHEN YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR RECIPE TO MAKE FROM SCRATCH.

STEP 2: Pour the milk into a measuring cup...

And then pour it in to the batter! :D Now this next step is VERY CRUCIAL for the pancake making process

STEP 3: GET KENDALL FEELS.

Yeah, the chest pains from the adorable Kendall Francis Schmidt. You KNOW you love those feels! XD

STEP 4: ADD TWO EGGS TO THE PANCAKE MIX.

Yep.

STEP 5: CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE SPATULA AND MIX! :D

As you can tell, mine is a pink piggy spatula my family got me for Christmas. NOW MIX! *Insert catchy mixing music*

STEP 6: PREHEAT YOUR PAN....

THEN GET JARLOS FEELS.

Yes, feels are a very crucial part of making pancakes. They make them full of love and chest pains. :P

STEP 7: POUR BATTER IN TO PAN. Now this is were I started to go wrong.

Yep.

I can't. THE FLUFFY PANCAKE HORRORR!!!!! D: Yes, you may all take a minute to judge me. I am a pancake murder. One day they will make a movie about me called the pancake murder. :P So yeah, that was my adventure this morning! :D

So how do you guys feel about this photo blogging thing? Is this even photo blogging? DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN MAKE A BETTER PANCAKE?!?! And most importantly, should I keep this up? Let me know in the comments below! :D

HAPPY FRIDAY!
-Katie

If you've been here since last fall....

It's been a long, hard, year.

I mean from last year on September 10th to this year on September 10th. Did anyone really think I'd be able to get to this point? Well, if everyone is okay with it.... Ya know what? Screw majorities! :)

If I wait for the comments I want I'll be old and gray. :P Jk jk I love you guys. But seriously, if I've learned anything, it's to fight for what you want, and what you need, and not let anyone else tell you different, and those who don't stick around, weren't worth having or have their own battles to face. Basically, just live life with no fears, and don't be afraid of anything. We'll talk more about it in five days. But we're doing this. And I don't care what the backlash is; I have the power to delete anything I want. ;)

So see you then!
-Katie

A letter for someone again...

Forgive me for doing it this way.

But you've blocked me out every other way, and I know you've read this before. I just want to talk to you so badly right now. For things to be the way they were before, for this situation to work itself out. Maybe it is and that's why we both have suffered.

But at the same time I'm scared for tomorrow, what's coming. I'm scared of how you'll react around me, if you'll do the same thing I did that first time. Or, worse, if you'll pull me to the side and tear me apart again. I only did what I did out of love my friend. I just want what's best for you. But maybe... Maybe the reason I went through that persecution, the reason I lost you, was so that we found each other again, and this time we were both stronger, and able to love each other more.

Scars heal with time, and time heals all wounds. I never hated you, I was simply fed up with the back and forth. I had no right to say what I did and I'm SORRY. More sorry than I think I've ever been about anything before. Everyone tells me I shouldn't apologize yet here I am doing it. Why? Because I care about you, and I never hated you.

I guess that's it. If you have to tear me apart or hate me or just be generally mean to me tomorrow, could you please be gentle about it? I'm stronger, yes, but honey I'm not made of steel.

-Katie

BIG TIME LABOR DAY!!! :D:D:D

Hey!

GUESS WHAT?!?!?! TEENNICK IS HAVING A BTR MARATHON ALL THE EPISODES FROM SEASON 4 GO WATCH IT NOW GO GO GO GO GOOOOO!!!!

This has been a fangirl bulletin. Carry on! :P I'll post something better later today, okay?
-Katie

THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!! :P

jk jk.

Lol I feel the need to dive into saying THE GAME and playing games on here. BUT THAT IS FOR A DIFFERENT TIME.

Anyways, the last two days have been AWESOME!!!! :D:D:D First off, and possibly most importantly, THIS BLOG PASSED 4,000 VIEWS OMG JAKLDSGJLK;ASFGJK;LDSFG I JUST CAN'T OKAY????? :'D I remember when 8 views in one day was a reason to celebrate!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUU :DDDD

But Idk how to celebrate with you guys! SO.... I thought I'd ask you guys what you want me to do! Leave a comment below telling me what you think we should do? A youtube video? Q&A post? Lemme know and I'll go from there! :D

SECOND: BABY JONAS IS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D JKALSD;GJK;LFGJK;DSLFGJK;LGSKJ ;L I JUST WITH THE FEELS OKAY??????????

And most importantly, I SURVIVED THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D Yes, we made it through this week, now THREE DAY WEEKEND WOOHOO!!!! :D Oh! I AM ALSO BACK ON TWITTER!!

My new @ name is @Thatcoolrusher so make sure you follow me for all the awesome stuff I do (Not really but I might say hi cuz I like talking to people on twitter lol)!

So now It's up to you to get this wonderful blog to 5,000 views all time and unlock a 5,000 VIEW SUPER MEGA PARTY!!!! :D GOOD LUCK MY LOVELY READERS.

The game.
-Katie

CARLOS FEEEEEEEELS

CARLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE CARLEXA OMG ID THIS REAL JKASLGJKLFDS;JKF;LDSJLS;GH

*Breathing into paper bag* Guys *Deep breath* Carlos *Deep breaths* tweeted *Breathing in bag* wifey to Alexa *PASSES OUT FROM INABILITY TO BREATHE JKLSDFGJKL;FDGSJKLDS;FJKLDFS;GJKDFS;LGJKLDFS;GJKL;FDSGKJ;

CARLOS STOP TEASING US WE WANNA KNOW IF THIS CARLEXA ENGAGEMENT IS REAL OR NOT COME ON PLEEEEEEEEASE?????? :))))))))

-Katie

ALSO!

I have deleted my twitter.

You can thank Carlexa engagement rumors and stupid drama and just plain stupid people for that. -_- I probably won't be back for a few days, 30 at most, okay? If you really need to get a hold of me, comment and I'll tell you my kik, okay?

-Katie

KATIE'S SUPER SUMMER PALOOZA!!! :P

Two posts in one week omg!! :P

Yes, I know, I haven't posted more than once a week since before summer started. Oh my god Summer. Summer. SUMMER. It's over! :O At least for me. School starts on Monday. WHERE DID THE LAST THREE MONTHS OF MY LIFE GO?!?!?!

Oh yeah, I spent them complaining and wishing I wasn't trapped at home. :P But it wasn't a COMPLETE Waste. Idk how to segway so BOOM! WE'RE SPENDING THE WEEKEND REMINISCING ABOUT MY SUMMER!!! Today I'll do June, tomorrow July, and then, well, I'll see about posting about how suckish August has been on Monday. So without further adieu,

KATIE'S SUMMER PALOOZA!!!!! (lol I suck at titles, just read)

JUNE.

So the first Monday of summer I woke up to the power being out. MY SUMMER WAS THEN CURSED. lol but seriously, That happened, and then the next day, drama. ex-friend drama. And on tumblr and twitter of all places. O.o I really didn't help by tweeting what I did, but honestly I was done. But then I got called out by said ex-friend, and I pretty much lost it. I'm not giving any details, but in the middle of that war, I think I reached a milestone; I didn't even think about cutting to solve it. Not once did I think it would help, or try to do it. So thank you, friend, for showing me how strong I truly was.

THEN CAME JUNE 11 JASKDLG;JK;LDGSHJK;LDGSHJK;LDGSHJK;LSDGJK;LDGSJK;L OKAY?!?!?!?!?! Yes, this is the part where I freak out about BTR. IT WOULDN'T BE MY BLOG WITHOUT BTR IN HERE SOMEWHERE NOW WOULD IT? :P So yeah they released their third album that day. Funny story actually.

So I had stayed up until midnight the night before then woke up at two in the morning and never went back to bed! :D So I just went downstairs and watched TV until 7:30 when my dad got home so he could take me to go get it. We drove all the way to Target (It was ten minutes instead of five lol) and we were like the only people in the store and I was totally fangirling. :P Wait I think I wrote a post about this before... but yeah. That was without a doubt one of the best parts of the summer. :)

So things went on for a while until, again, DRAMA. And Vacation Bible School lol. :P So vacation bible school, for those who don't know, is different for every church, but for mine, it's where the kids do different activities revolving around a bible story. And I was lucky enough to get put in the preschool wing, and the person in charge of my area was my mom's friend. So PRIOR to VBS starting, my anxiety had slowly been getting worse and my grandmother... bleh. So I'd slowly been slipping into what we will call, an anorexic mindset. And I was slowly slipping back into those ways. I wasn't eating and I just... Ugh. Tuesday and Wednesday were the worst. Tuesday I had literally only eaten a cookie and three grapes until dinner, when I was at a ball game with my cousins and then my grandmother, being the lovely person she is, ruined my night and I became convinced that if I ate then everything went wrong. So I just went through the motions; BTR, write BTR lyrics on my arms and hands, and starve. But then, Wednesday afternoon/night.... I was talking with someone who's very special to me. They convinced me to eat dinner. And then Thursday was BIG TIME THURSDAY (*Sobs in the corner because BTR*), and you know what those boys do. :) Things picked up after that kind of.

So VBS goes by and then JKLSDFGJKLD;SFKJ;DFSGHJKL;DGSHJKL;DGHJKL;DGHKJ;LH BTR CONCERT WITH VIP I GOT TO MEET THEM JAKSLDFGTJKL;DSJ;DGSHJKL; So yeah, that whole week I was just like mellow, on twitter a lot, gathering up letters from my friends and messages (THANK YOU TO ALL MY FORMER TWITTER FOLLOWERS FOR MAKING THAT AN AMAZING SUCCESS!!! :). And then. IT HAPPENED. It was that Saturday, I was gonna meet my idols and hug them and tell them how much they meant to me. That I KNOW has it's own six part blog. But yeah, I told them everything in a letter. And I'm pretty sure I gave them the URL to this blog so if they're reading this.... hi guys! :) Okay I'll shut up now lol.

FRIEND DRAMA POST: http://blessingind.blogspot.com/2013/06/i-really-hope-you-reading-this.html
24/SEVEN ADVENTURE POST:http://blessingind.blogspot.com/2013/06/llive-your-life-24seven-d.html
MAIN POST FOR SIX-PART BTR CONCERT POST: http://blessingind.blogspot.com/2013/06/i-met-big-time-rush-yesterday.html

And that about does it for June! Tune in tomorrow when we go over July! :P
-Katie

Yay for school! -___-

UGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Did summer go by super fast and just SEEM slow because of all the drama or what?! SCHOOL STARTS ON MONDAY!!!! At least for us Texans anyways. :P Although I think Private schools started this week. idk.

ANYWAYS. I love my brother to death, but school starting is actually a good thing for all of us. You know he's autistic, so he's been going crazy all summer, and even he likes school starting up again and having that structure back. Oh, how do I feel about school starting again?

I'M FREAKIN OUT MAN!!!!!! FREAKING. OUT!!!!!!! Okay so I am actually homeschooled. Everyone thinks, "oh she's homeschooled, she can get up whenever and do whatever-" NO BITCH MY WORKLOAD IS JUST AS HARD AS YOUR I AM AT SCHOOL BUT I ONLY HAVE ONE TEACHER; MY MOM. Homeschooling is essentially public school, but more interesting and individualized. BUUUT thanks to the past year of my life (And a certain JOB I have mentioned numerous times), I am behind a grade! -__- So I have to work twice as hard now and it's really freaking me out with my social calendar!!!

Okay so I get this seems insignificant to you, but to me, THIS IS HUGE. I have a TON of stuff I wanna do this year, and then on top of it all I have to do school too!!! Like for instance:

Monday: Ho hum, mostly school
Tuesday: Doctor's appointment; afternoon is gone
Wednesday: .....I don't remember what I have this day. Was it Girl Scouts? Hmm...
Thursday: ...........................................................

Then again this may NOT be an issue. Thanks internet for making me look like a stressed out loonie for three paragraphs! -.- OH! And I have decided that, since I have no life whatsoever, and with the avalanche of school work that is probably going to bury me soon, I'm just gonna post on here every Thursday, sound good?

IT HELPS TAKE THE STING AWAY FROM NO MORE BTR!!!! D: Speaking of which I am gonna go through my twitter this week and delete it. Too much drama/depressing stuff. Ugh. Oh and I HAVE FAILED MY BROTHER HE LIKES 1D GUYS WHYYYYYYYY???????

It's after 11:30 at night, ignore my ramblings. :P Goodnight!
-Katie

For someone who i pray to God is reading this.

I just want you to know that what I did, I did because I cared.

I never hated you. Even at my darkest hour I never hated you because I thought everything was what you wanted. Even when I cyber-bullied you, I didn't hate you. I was angry because you were so back and forth and I NEVER thought you would do what I had done.

I know you will for sure hate me now. At least for a while. maybe forever, I don't know. that's up to you. But I just want what's best for you and for you to find peace and happiness like I have. I want your scars to heal, both emotionally and physically. All I want is for you to be happy again.

That's the only reason I did this. And yes it's gonna be ugly, there'll be drama and relapses, but it's all part of the journey sweetheart. I love you, and I love you enough to give you space to heal. If not being in the troop for a few months is what you need then Damnit I'll do that! But remember; I have always loved you, never have I and never will I EVER hate you.

And that's why we decided to call her.
-Katie

THURSDAY: DAY OF THE FANGIRL

IT'S THE LAST NIGHT OF TOUR GUYS JKlsdj;gk;lsdfjgkl;sdjlk;LK;SJGHJKLDHJK;LDGH

HOW ARE YOU NOT SOBBING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And like, everyone was freaking out the other night cuz A: James cut himself onstage (AND STILL FINISHED THE SHOW OH MY GOD I JUST JHKLSF;GJ;KFDSG), B: It was the last show of the tour in the US, and C: We lost the TCA's. :(  BUT WE WERE ALL MORE WORRIED ABOUT JAMES!!!!! Like seriously he apologized on twitter for bleeding on people. :P THE GOOD GIRLS WOULDN'T CARE SWEETIE!!! xD And then Carlos tweeted something and everyone was freaking out and taking it all the wrong way, and then a bunch of Directioners were attacking him so he WAS on twitter break, but once they got to Mexico he started tweeting in Spanish. ;)

AND THAT WAS MY SUNDAY NIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. Oh! And for the record, TODAY IS THE DAY OF BIRTHDAYS. Like, a TON of my mom's friends' birthdays are today, as well as one of my friends, and Joe Jonas' birthday is today. And it's ALSO his parent's anniversary. Oh, and did I mention CARLOS FREAKIN PENA IS 24????????????????? JAKLFSGJKLF;DSGJKLS;JAK;LRUPIOT;LKSDFBVJKL;SGTJ;OARKLT OKAY?????????????

Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels. X_X And get ready! In five days the Lovatics in your life are gonna go crazy cuz it'll be Demi's birthday!!! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY TO EVERYONE TODAY.  I must go now, my brother is singing the Giant Turd song wrong. xD

IT IS ADORABLE.
-Katie

THE MAGICAL NON-SUCKY THURSDAY BLOG! :D

So after going through all my songs on iTunes, I have come to one conclusion:

I have pretty cliché teenage girl tastes. :/ But then again, I think I have chosen and grown with the artists on my ipod. Anyways, the point is, I have, over the past 24 hours, realized how much inspirational music my cliché tastes has put on my phone. and considering the people who may (or may not) be reading this, I thought I'd share the songs I've found. Maybe someone (In particular) is reading this, and needs a song to just help them right now. I have a lot of different songs, so let's make this a series! and so....

KATIE'S LIST OF SONGS

 

THIS WEEK: THE HELPFUL EDITION

So this is all the songs I own that I listen to on my bad days, in alphabetical order. Some are slow, some are fast, some are both... Try some of them out the next time your life is kinda suckish. And yes, BTR will NATURALLY be in the list, but as they say; save the best for last. ;) NOW LET US BEGIN.


1. "Believe in me" - Don't Forget, by Demi Lovato

2. "Fix a Heart" - Unbroken, by Demi Lovato

3. "Skyscraper" - Unbroken, by Demi Lovato

4. "A Little Bit Longer" - A Little Bit Longer, by the Jonas Brothers

5. "Who Says" - When The Sun Goes Down, by Selena Gomez

6. "A Place In This World" - Taylor Swift, by Taylor Swift

7. "The Outside" - Taylor Swift

8. "Tied Together With a Smile" - Taylor Swift, by Taylor Swift

9. "Mean" - Speak Now, by Taylor Swift

AND NOW FOR THE BEST PART OF THIS LIST: THE BIG TIME RUSH SONGS!!! :D:D:D

10. "Cover Girl" - Elevate, by Big Time Rush

11. "Invisible" - Elevate, by Big Time Rush

12. "Crazy for U" 24/Seven, by Big Time Rush

13. "Na Na Na" - 24/Seven Deluxe Edition (iTunes only)

And the very best for last....

14. "You're Not Alone" - Elevate, by Big Time Rush


And there we go! All the songs I currently own that might help you feel better or at least less alone! :D Check in next week for the list of break-up/angry/annoyed list! :P

-Katie

life without a fandom. :'(

Okay so in wake of the aftermath of the BTR Finale I AM TRYING TO FIND A REASON FOR GOING ON. :P

In that cliché "what do I do now?" phase. This video will explain how my fandom is feeling right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MXSGKxJfvo .....Yep. I am not struggling as much as I had thought I would which, I KNOW, sounds really bad. but to be honest..... I don't think this is gonna be the end.

Something inside of me just says it isn't over now. I may be wrong. But THAT IS WHAT FANDOMS ARE FOR. Yes, I have been on this rant in at least fifty other blogs but I will say it again, I AM GOING CRAZY NOW THAT MY FANDOM IS GOING INSANE AND IT CAN'T HANDLE TWITTER. Oh wait I haven't been on this rant before. Yay? :P

So yeah EVERYTHING is falling apart on my twitter timeline so I've decided to take a MAJOR break from twitter which has left me quite lonely and searching for a new social media to call home. I have not been very successful so far. :( Oh well, I'll figure my life out eventually.

AND IN THE MEANTIME: I HAVE A SHINY WHITE BRACELET!!! :P Yeah my mom demanded I give her my bracelet to wash because it was, as she put it, "dirty and looked nasty." I did not think she was right but apparently she was because it is now blindingly white! :D Next she wants to wash my red one. I DON'T LIKE TAKING MY BRACELETS OFF THOUGH! D:

It's silly but... I hate it. I hate taking my necklace off either. It's like they've become parts of my body now, just like my mom hates taking off her crucifix. I'm not saying I worship BTR, but my last bracelet.... I went through a lot with that and my necklace on. I'm a very sentimental person, so needless to say, these new bracelets are only coming off when they have to.

At least these are knit so I can wash them and if they break we can sew them back together, and they're easier to wash. I think. :P Well anyways, things are a little bit of a mess for this Rusher but I HAVE been in worse. I think. :P

Eh, I'll always have my boys. :)
-Katie

TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH BLAH

BLAH.

I have sooooooooo many good topics to talk about but I can't choose just one! :( So I think I will make all of them and post them as I see fit. Yay! :D FIRST OFF; I HAVE NEW HAIR. CUT. THAT WAS AWKWARD. :P

But yeah I got my hair cut and it looks like this!

AND THAT IS ALL FOR THIS BLOG! :p A better one tomorrow, I promise. :)
-Katie
 

WHY CAN I NEVER CRYYY?????

HJALKSGHL;JKGJHKL;FHJKL;XCNB;KLXFDJHKL;

LAST NIGHT WAS THE NIGHT MY FANDOM BECAME AN EMOTIONAL WRECK BUT I DIDN'T SOB AND I JUST CAN'T THE FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!!!!!!! And now for the English translation! :D

IT WAS TOTALLY MIND BLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, the finale of Big Time Rush is the ONLY thing I will be talking about today. So if you don't care, READ THIS INSTEAD: http://blessingind.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-trainwreck-with-boy-p.html

Now then, if you chose to keep reading, THANK YOU!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D But before we begin, SPOILER ALERTS!!!!! If you are okay with them than keep reading, if not, CLICKY DEH LINK IN DA PARAGRAPH ABOVE. ^

Okay so I'm sitting on my couch when IT HAPPENS GUYS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER SEE THE OPENING SCENE TO A NEW EPISODE!!!!!!!! The guys are at dress rehearsal for the Tween Choice Awards where apparently "All their dreams will come true!" :P And those dreams are:

Carlos: Get a girlfriend
Logan find the mysterious "Purple goop room."
James: Kiss Lucy.

Why does Kendall not have a dream on the list? That will become obvious in time. But first, dress rehearsal, recording a new song for "Sharky's mac and cheese!", and shooting the commercial for the "Sharky's mac and cheese for life give away!" :P BUT! There is an evil plot underneath the "Square things" in the commercial; hypnosis and world domination!!!!!!!! :O Kendall is very skeptical of the person in charge of the "Sharky's mac and cheese!" thing. They arrive back at the Palmwoods and THE JENNIFERS ARE BACK! :O AND they're NICE!!!! :O:O

Fast forward and the boys are on the purple carpet and they're.... Well, they're my boys; they're acting like dorks. xD So they head inside and they form, "THE DREAM TEAM." :D And dream number one? GET TO THEIR SEATS SO THEY CAN SEE IF THEY WIN THE FIRST PURPLE ROCKET FOR BEST (Insert category I can't remember here)!!! And no, they do not win. :P Then yadda yadda we get to tackle Carlos' dream first! :D

HOW do we get Carlos a girlfriend? Well, whoever catches him first when thrust at the Jennifers gets picked! :D And who catches him? Blonde Jennifer? Curly haired Jennifer? Cardboard cutout brunette Jennifer who is still shooting her last scene in Australia? NOOOOO! :D ALEXA FREAKING VEGA HIS REAL LIFE GIRLFRIEND CATCHES HIM!!!!!!!! :D:D:D They kiss so CARLEXA KISS WOOOOOO! But then she has to go and so do the guys cuz it's time for the next award! :o And I wonder who won. Could it be ONE DIRECTION? -_- My friend Katie put it very aptly in this vine: https://vine.co/v/hA7eeJ7FU3h 

And now it's time to find the goop room! :D BUT NOT WITHOUT RUNNING IN TO THE BAD GUY!!! D: And once we find him..... DAMNIT COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!! xD AAAAND WE'RE BACK! So now they're being held hostage and about to be hypnotized by the bad guy when INVISIBLE ALEXA KICKS DER BOOTEHS OH YEAH! So yeah, she was a spy in real life. xD Deh all run away and that's how they find the goop room. Logan's dream; Check! That leaves- OH I AM WASTING SPACE! :P

Now it's time for awesomest hair and no, James does not win. :/ BUT he DOES get shoved in a tiny cage with Alexa and the guys! Oh wait I think that's too far ahead. :P YES HIS DREAM OF KISSING LUCY COMES TRUE! But then he gets stuck in a cheesy squeezy room with the boys and Alexa. they stop the bad guy AND THEN THEY WIN AWESOMEST SONG!!!! :D:D:D:D And then Kendall said;

"This is my dream. The four of us, up here, together. this is my dream, and it's come true." JHASKLFGHJDFKLGHJKLDFH AND THEN THEY STARTED SINGING WE ARE WITH THE MONTAGE OF ALL THE MEMORIES!!! KATIE MADE THIS VINE AND IT JUST CAPTURED WHAT EVERY RUSHER WATCHING WAS FEELING AND DOING: https://vine.co/v/hA7wte2wle2  And then to end it, we sing the very song that started it all; "Big Time Rush."

I AM LIKE IN TEARS RECAPPING IT ALL GUYS OKAY???????? I just freaking died inside because of Katie's vine and then my mom was crying too!!!!!! It was just a beautiful moment!!! And then guess what happened after The episode ended?

Yes, millions of teenage girls' hearts broke. BUT! Remember how I said Kendall was on fire at the show in Dallas? Well that's cuz they were shooting the music video for "We Are." AHJDSKLFGHJK;LSDFJG;KL SO NOW IT IS OVER AND I HAVE NO LIFE. But then my mom made me melt because:

Me: Mama it's over.

My mom: No baby, it's just the beginning.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I JUST WROTE?!?! My mom is a Rusher! :D I am just in such an emotional state right now Recapping. No one knows what the future holds for the boys, but my love for them isn't wavering. :')

PROUD RUSHER OUT!
-Katie

Awkward abd emotional! :P

ahehe, well, hi people who know me in real life. :P

This is now veeeeery awkward. lol, so I found out my mom, grandfather, and Girl Scout leader read my blog as well as at least three of my twitter friends and many strangers from Europe! Eh whatever, maybe I'll get lucky and this post will get skipped over.

ANYWAYS, guess who got out of things on Sunday?? :D I'm not proud of it, but it's just too much for me right now. I'll get back to God eventually. I have to if I want to get confirmed next year. Ugh I feel so awkward writing this thing now! :P Whatever, no one has said anything to me yet, so why should I start censoring myself now? Why should I censor myself period? This is MY blog and it's MY life! I can do whatever I want! Within reason anyways. :P

I should probably- OH CRAP TOMORROW IS THE LAST EPISODE OF BTR I AM NOT READY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes, I JUST TYPED THAT LIKE THAT!!!! :'((( I never thought I would be like this. It was a TOTALLY different thing when the Jonas Brothers "took a break." But now with Big Time Rush.... I'M JUST NOT PREPARED OKAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Mayhaps it would be a good time to get back on twitter.....

Ugh, twitter. It's all just spiraled out of control on there and I've been on a break for about three weeks. And I don't know if I will ever go back to be honest. It's just too much drama. I blame instantly following people back. THAT is my problem. I need to go on an un-follow spree and fix it. :/

Eh, who cares? I AM JUST NOT READY I WILL BE SOBBING LIKE A BABY TOMORROW NIGHT AND DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY??????  You try liking a band and having them dance like idiots for your birthday and then saving your life and then making a ton of new friends through them and then hugging them and THEN come talk to me about how it's just a band/TV show. I know Kendall said they weren't breaking up but.... HASDJKLGHJSDL;FGHJK;SDFHJKL;

I am emotional now and this blog is over so BYEEE.
-Katie

Why tonight will probably suck

Remember that story I told the world before I did my cover back in April?

And if you didn't watch it, or don't remember, click here! :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bnBv6Zlw4A  Yeahhh, well I have to postpone my VERY IMPORTANT PLANS UNTIL NINE AT LEAST and go to church tonight. -_- I bet you are wondering why I'm doing it if I really don't want to. Well, to be perfectly blunt, I'll never hear the end of it if I don't go.

The choir director's mother is in the hospital, and we (Me and my grandmother) went to visit her last night and I was pretty much begged and told I had to go tonight, no matter what happened to my self-esteem in the process! Fun huh? -_-

It's really complicated. I really don't feel like explaining, but basically it was a non-existent love triangle that ended with three broken hearts and me leaving choir, all thanks to a stupid boy and a blonde girl who I hate for no good reason. :( She's older and smarter and prettier and more successful and got the boy I had accidentally fallen in love with to fall in love with her and treat me like a kid. So yeah. And every time she and the boy show up I usually end up emotional and bitter. and it seems are voices are so alike we always have to sit together! -_-

And I'm not even starting on how the choir director "Lost all this weight and I should do what she's done!" Woman please, do the words "eating disorder" mean nothing to you? I am happy with my body right now and calling me fat and telling me that just destroys what little confidence I currently possess. And I have scars now. Last time I had cuts. Scars. Yet another insecurity. But then again....

"You gotta believe in me, even if you can't see me there..." - You're Not Alone, Elevate

"You've got a heart of gold, a perfect original... I would do anything to make you smile." - Covergirl, Elevate

"You're not gonna be invisible." - Invisible, Elevate

"But that pretty face don't compare to what's inside." - Crazy for U, 24/Seven

"When you know some stupid boy's just trying to break your heart, don't even play his games. Get us and see how beautiful you are; baby just walk away." - Na Na Na, 24/Seven Deluxe edition (iTunes only)

So.... maybe I can do this? I don't want to in any way shape or form, but I don't really have a say in it at this point. I have to put off my friends for an extra two hours at least all to save myself from getting nit picked and hearing the complaints and how "I think you should go to church because your reasons for not going are silly." And how "He's just a boy he doesn't mean anything." NO LADY HE WAS MY FIRST LOVE AND HEARTBREAK AND SHE'S NO GOOD FOR MY SELF-ESTEEM. Sigh. That's what pink ink and arms are for; song lyrics to get you through the day. AND I AM NOT TAKING MY BRACELETS OFF. XP Now, let's try and make this blog a little happier, shall we? :) Like how I got to go to the mall yesterday? :D

Yeah, we went all the way to Frisco too! :D The one there is sooooo much better than the two here. :P Oh my gosh okay so we're trying to find a place to park and it's like a freakin war zone! People were stealing other peoples spots and making freakishly sharp turns and it was just.... crazy. So we finally get the car parked and my dad and Patrick go one way and I go a different way. I nearly got run over by people multiple times because skinny walk-ways and big crowds (Note to self; don't go to the mall at four in the afternoon on a Saturday afternoon in the summertime again. :P). There really wasn't much that caught my eye, but when I went in to Abercrombie and Fitch....


Yep. xD FOX IS SO FAMOUS. And James must really trust Halston if he let her do a photoshoot with him. Unless he was behind the camera... xD That about wraps up this blog. I DON'T WANNA LEAVE!!!! D: Whatever.

It's not like I haven't been submitted to this mess before....
-Katie

My brother has a date.

MY BROTHER HAS A DATE WITH A HUMAN GIRL.

Granted it's just as friends, but COME ON WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?! Are Texas boys just blind to how AWESOME of a girlfriend I would be?! Yeah I'm a little emotional and I tend to have days where I don't wanna eat but deep down I'm an AWESOME person to have as a girlfriend! *Pouts*

Sigh. Oh well, when mister right comes along I'll be ready. And in the meantime I HAVE FIBERS FROM KENDALL'S SHIRT ON MY SHIRT I HUGGED HIM IN! xD Don't look at me, I have no social life. :P OH!

AND MY GRANDMOTHER IS FINALLY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!! :D Oh wait I don't think I ever officially published she was IN the hospital. :/ Well she was but now she's home so YAAAAAAAY!!!! :D

And I am off to eat ice cream so BAI GUISE! :D
-Katie

I love my dorks! xD

My idols are.... interesting. xD

WATCH: http://popcrush.com/big-time-rush-interview-improv-exclusive-videos/ THEY ARE NOT NORMAL THIS IS WHY I LOVE THEM OKAY????????? xD AND THEY GOT "LEIED." xDDDDD

I AM A DORK BECAUSE I LOOK UP TO AND LOVE DORKS THEY ARE MY DORKS YAY FOR TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! xD

it's after 11 PM okay? :P
-Katie

My trainwreck with a boy :P

Remember a few months back when I told you guys about a boy that broke my heart when I was 14?

If not, WATCH THIS VIDEO! :D lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bnBv6Zlw4A So yeah.... In that time I figured out who his parents were (Because they were always at mass and he always went home with them lol :P) And.... well his mom was at the library today. so guess who almost had a panic attack and was grateful she had to leave because of her starbucks? -.-

I just.... he was my first love ya know? But then that got me thinking; what if I DID ever run in to him in public at some point in the (relatively near) future? How would I react? And most importantly, WHAT IF HE WANTED TO TALK TO ME????

And so in thinking that, I also added, What if I was wearing my BTR shirt too? My bracelets and necklace never leave my body unless they absolutely have to. :P DON'T JUDGE ME!!!! xD Anyways, in thinking all that, I thought, Why not write it down? It would probably be amusing. And since I am in desperate need of a topic on here, I thought I would share what I thought of with my lovely readers! :D And thus,

WHAT I MIGHT SAY IF I RAN IN TO A CERTAIN JERK WHOSE NAME I REALLY WANT TO SAY BUT WON'T BECAUSE I KNOW THE INTERNET RUINS PEOPLES' LIVES. :D

IF I AM FEELING CONFIDENT AND SASSY:

Jerk: Oh hey Katie!

Me: Oh hey (Jerk's name).

Jerk: Wow we haven't talked in forever.

Me: Yeah I know. Why is that?

Jerk: Because.... you never come to church?

Me in my head: This boy is a waste of your time. the guy's an idiot!

Me: Yeah, that's it.

Jerk: That suuure is a lot of uh... band stuff you're wearing.

Me in my head: The better to punch you with!

Me: Yeah, they're kind of my favorite band in the world.

Jerk: I can see that. Big Time Rush is it?

Me: Yeah.

Jerk: Why them?

Me in my head: OH YOU LITTLE ***** &&QWIIDJLFKHJLKDSGHJ (I basically would be in a rant in my head at that point)

Me: They've done more for me than anyone will ever know.

Jerk: But... they're just-

Me: DON'T YOU EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE THEY SAVED MY LIFE AND I AM THERE RUSHER SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WALK AWAY BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!!!!!


xD I WOULD NEVER PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE. And I would NEVER have the guts to say that!!! I'd probably be running scared or thinking "oh god oh god don't let anything slip just smile and nod and DON'T SCREW THIS UP!!!" while I tried to talk to him. :P IN OTHER NEWS BIG TIME CARTOONS LAST NIGHT akjld;sgjsl;dfjg;lJSK;LDGHJK;LSGDH

THEIR BOY PARTS IN THOSE GREEN SUITS I JUST CAN'T ALRIGHT ajksld;gjk;lsdffgjkl;dfj XD I AM A HORMONAL AND IMMATURE TEENAGER THOSE THINGS AMUSE ME!!!!! xD Oh if the boys are reading this at all I'm officially weird. :P OH WELL!!! :D

until next time lovelies!
-Katie

FACTZ.

I HAVE NOTHING TO POST ABOUT.

Well I do, but last fall I probably inspired MILLIONS (Or at least hundreds) of other girls to cut. I already ruined one girl's life by accident by running my mouth. :( So instead of talking about anorexia, LET'S ALL LEARN RANDOM FACTS THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT!!! XD Oh! And to make it more fun, LETS DO IT ALL IN RANDOM COLORS YAAAAAAAY!!! :P

RANDOM FACTS THAT WILL NOT ENHANCE YOUR LIFE WITH KATIE!!!

FACT #1: it takes 16 ounces of water to flush a toilet, which is enough to fill up a grande starbucks cup. :P

FACT #2: You need to shake up soy milk, otherwise the calcium will sink to the bottom and you will waste more of the milk.

FACT #3: My dad helped to make the chips for the iPhone 5. OH YEAH YOU KNOW YOUR JEALOUS!!! xD

FACT #4: Lying at a young age shows cognitive development.

FACT #5: If you're still reading at this point SHOUT OUT TO YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!! xD

I'll stop now. :P
-Katie

I need to update more.

I do. :P

KEVIN AND DANIELLE JONAS ARE HAVING A BABY SHE TWEETED IT jakls;dgj;ldfsghj;lkdf/.gnjhk;l.JSKLE;FGJ;LDSGHJMLCX,N/.M OKAY?????????????????????

You probably don't care, but the Jonas Brothers were my first boyband, and they've wanted a baby for so long. and the world has kinda wanted them to have one too. :P AND NOW THEY ARE!!! My mom and I even said a prayer for Dani and her health and the baby's health and for her and Kevin. We're good people! xD BUT SERIOUSLY. BABY JONAS. SPREAD THE WORD.

Until my next freak out! xD
-Katie

my lovely readers!

Y'all are awesome. :)

Like seriously guys. This awesome blog would not be where it is today without you guys reading it! :D And if you check in every day that's even better! :D:D I can write this thing every day but it's nothing unless you read it so thank you. :)

IN OTHER NEWS: BIG TIME THURSDAYS ARE BACK THIS THURSDAY AND KENDALL IS CAUSING MY TWITTER TIMELINE TO GO INTO HYPERSPAM AND LOGAN TWEETED FOR TWENTY MINUTES YESTERDAY AJKLDGT;J;LKDSHJ;LDFGJ xD I'm wondering if I shouldn't just change this to a BTR fan blog. :P But then again while the MAJORITY of my posts are about Big Time Rush, I DO have those posts that aren't about them. :)

OH WELL LEAVE A COMMENT TELLING ME WHAT YOU'D REALLY LIKE TO SEE ME POST ABOUT KTHANXBAI! xD
-Katie

rrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I cannot go through one holiday without my brother ruining it!!!!!!!!!!!!

If it's not one thing it's another! And I'll tell you something; HE RUINS EVERYTHING FUN. Patrick playing with toys at Christmas time? RUINED. Staying up until midnight on New Years? FIGHTS ALL NIGHT THUS RUINED. And let's not forget today!

Fights on the way TO the parade and then has a fit on the way home, has a fit about soda and fireworks all afternoon, and now is obsessing about dinner and fireworks. -_- It REALLY sucks having a brother with Autism sometimes, because he always ruins stuff. And it isn't always with fighting; Sometimes it's accidents, or messes, or simply getting kicked out of somewhere. :( But it's my life until I leave home. It's days like today I'm glad I found BTR.

I say that a lot but it's true. Some days they're the only reason I get out of bed. I've said all this stuff a million times, but I'm gonna say it fifty thousand more. Because they're the reason I'm sitting here typing this. And now they know that. :) And the fact that they do makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And then I get all bouncy because I told them about this blog too! :D so.... hi guys! xD

I wonder if they'll ever read it or if they have? :?
-Katie

MEET AND GREET PHOTO FEELS

IT'S HAPPENED IT HAPPENED I'M SHAKING AGAIN AS BAD AS I WAS WHEN I HUGGED HIM ASDHGKJLLSDFKGHLK MY MEET AND GREET PHOTO IS UP I AM HAVING A FEELS ATTACK LOOK:

AND I DON'T HATE IT THIS TIME I LOVE IT I AM NOT IN TEARS OF SADNESS BUT TEARS OF JOY THANK YOU JESUS AJSKLFGJLDFKHJNL
-Katie

JAMEZ YOU GIVE ME DA CHEST PAINS ;_;

JHAFS.GH.DFKBGN.,SD THIS BOY I SWEAR.

JAMES' NEW COVER. HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND YOU HEAR ANGELS SINGING THIS IS LIVING PROOF; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JU3XFmacz8 IF YOU DON'T THINK HE HAS TALENT YOU ARE AN IRRELEVANT TOAD JAMES IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU HAVE TALENT AND YOU ARE PERFECT AND FLAWLESS OKAY????? :D

That is all.
-Katie

PART 6: THE BEST CONCERT SINCE THE BIG TIME SUMMER TOUR

OH MY GOD GUYS OKAY????

PART 6: THE CONCERT

Okay so Victoria finishes, and I'm blind cuz I'm so close to the stage and she had a TON of lights. :P I'm also deaf at this point because when you have floor seats for a concert, you are not going to be able to hear. :P I try and hurry to go to the bathroom but then MY DAD- Oh wait, wrong one! :P So I RUN to get water and go to the bathroom. And even THEN I wasn't fast enough, because they started before I was there. :P

My mom is literally pulling me over people when I get back to our seats, and I just like get blown away by them, the stage, close I am to their perfect faces.... It's just unbelievable. They sing, they dance, they sing again. And remember when I told you Kendall liked my hug? :P

Wellllll..... He was like going crazy! :D He was bouncing, dancing, singing, making all these crazy faces, climbing on stuff... Yeah he was going crazy. AND THERE WERE STREAMERS THAT I PLACED IN MY HAIR. :D That's why Logan noticed me I think. :P I'm so weird. xD

So they kept singing, and they finish the show, and like every keeps screaming "Big Time Rush!" and the DJ noticed. so he started playing random songs and kept us screaming, and.... we gout our boys back out. :) They did a mash-up of a handful of songs from the first season, ending with their theme song. "Big Time Rush." I'm like, Almost in TEARS thinking about it.

So they finish and the lights go up, so everyone starts to leave but thanks again to my handicapped mother, we get to stay put and not deal with the crowd! :D lol. So while waiting for the crowd to dissipate somewhat, people were looking for Kendall's guitar pick. And eventually they gave up, but guess what was hiding in the midst of some confetti? ;)

My mom found it and handed me the confetti. I was confused until I saw it in with the confetti. I shoved that guitar pick and the confetti into my pocket faster than you can blink an eye, and I didn't take it out until I got home. :D

So yeah, after that we kind of had to leave, so we started walking up the isle and my mom realized how cute I was, so she took this picture:

Yes, I am so awesome I put streamers in my hair. And yes, confetti loves me so much it sticks to me. xD So yeah and then we left and got in out nice, air conditioned car. :P

 

IT WAS THE BEST FREAKING DAY OF MY LIFE AND NOTHING CAN TOP IT I DOUBT MY WEDDING DAY WILL EVEN TOP IT BECAUSE I GOT TO HUG THE MAN WHO SAVED MY LIFE OKAY??????????? :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I'm never gonna forget it as long as I live. NEVER.

 

-Katie

 

ALL PARTS: http://blessingind.blogspot.com/2013/06/i-met-big-time-rush-yesterday.html